You might be a Redneck if...

[whtfbplaya]

you mow your yard and find a car.

[whtfbplaya]

your friend buys a really expensive house and you have to help him take the wheels off.

[CHS_CG]

you go to a dance and they say "hoe down" and your girlfriend hits the floor!

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by CHS_CG
you go to a dance and they say "hoe down" and your girlfriend hits the floor!
.
dats so ghetto... :D
.
You might be a redneck if...
your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup.

[espn1]

If your mom calls the family into the bathroom and says! Man! Look at the size of that!

[whtfbplaya]

Originally posted by espn1
If your mom calls the family into the bathroom and says! Man! Look at the size of that!

The bar of soap:confused:

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by espn1
If your mom calls the family into the bathroom and says! Man! Look at the size of that!
.
Roach? Rat? :confused:

[District303aPastPlayer]

if you work without a shirt on.... and your husband does too... you might be a redneck

[hawkfan]

If your house catches on fire and you have to meet the fire dept halfway because they don't know where you live.

[CHS_CG]

you might be a redneck if..
your mother can tell a state trooper to kiss her @$$ with out takin the marlboro outta her mouth!

[CenTexSports]

I was wondering if my family is red neck (not me, I'm a yuppie). At Christmas there were too many at my parents house to open gifts inside so we put a tarp out on the ground between the house and the corral and everbody sat in lawn chairs and on other things that were not meant to be for seating. It wasone of those deals where you pick a gift and if someone likes it better they can take it from you. The most sought after gifts were a lariat (rope), some spurs, and a box of tools.

When I left, all I could think about was what would Jeff Foxworthy have thought about our Christmas.

[mac77]

...your deer lease is 12 miles long and 150 feet wide.

[neck_06]

Originally posted by CenTexSports
I was wondering if my family is red neck (not me, I'm a yuppie). At Christmas there were too many at my parents house to open gifts inside so we put a tarp out on the ground between the house and the corral and everbody sat in lawn chairs and on other things that were not meant to be for seating. It wasone of those deals where you pick a gift and if someone likes it better they can take it from you. The most sought after gifts were a lariat (rope), some spurs, and a box of tools.

When I left, all I could think about was what would Jeff Foxworthy have thought about our Christmas.

i'd have to say yes, redneck indeed.

[piratebg]

Originally posted by CenTexSports
I was wondering if my family is red neck (not me, I'm a yuppie). At Christmas there were too many at my parents house to open gifts inside so we put a tarp out on the ground between the house and the corral and everbody sat in lawn chairs and on other things that were not meant to be for seating. It wasone of those deals where you pick a gift and if someone likes it better they can take it from you. The most sought after gifts were a lariat (rope), some spurs, and a box of tools.

When I left, all I could think about was what would Jeff Foxworthy have thought about our Christmas.



Very Redneckish, indeed. :)

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by CenTexSports
When I left, all I could think about was what would Jeff Foxworthy have thought about our Christmas.
I saw Jeff Foxworthy a little over 12 years ago. Sadly, one of his stories perfectly described some of my relatives. :eek: :eek:

[sww-bull52]

.......your wifes new hair doo is destroyed by the ceiling fan.

[piratebg]

.....if you toast your bread and iron your Wranglers in the same place.

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by sww-bull52
.......your wifes new hair doo is destroyed by the ceiling fan.
lepfan can relate to this one, at least the ceiling fan part. :D

[CenTexSports]

You might be a redneck if on your family vacation there is a peeing for distance contest from the fifth floor balcony and your Aunt Betty wins.

[sww-bull52]

:eek: :eek: :doh: :doh:

[pancho villa]

What does a redneck girl from West Texas say after sex?

Get off me Dad your crushing my cigaretts!

[piratebg]

Originally posted by pancho villa
What does a redneck girl from West Texas say after sex?

Get off me Dad your crushing my cigaretts!


Now I don't care who ya are, that's funny right there.

Get R Done :D

[mac77]

ROTFLMFAO

[mac77]

You might be a redneck if your bathroom air freshner is lye soap and a match.

[whtfbplaya]

Originally posted by mac77
...your deer lease is 12 miles long and 150 feet wide.

LOL I know some one who has a lease that is 350ft long and 70ft wide next to a huge ranch. The property was small and got divided up by 17 relatives in little strips

[whtfbplaya]

if your dad walks you to school, because you are in the same grade.

[exbccards76'smom]

I love the story Jeff Foxworthy talks about going to his wife's brother's wedding rehearsal dinner at HOOTERS!!

[UPanIN]

Originally posted by espn1
If your mom calls the family into the bathroom and says! Man! Look at the size of that!

That just ain't right. Sharing things about someone's momma.

[LH OffseasonVet]

You might be a redneck

. . . if your momma keeps a spitcup by the ironing board.

. . . you’ve ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.

. . . you vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.

. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.

. . . you’ve ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.

. . . you’ve ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.

. . . you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

. . . you’ve ever had to turn your pickup truck around because of bridge clearance restrictions.

. . . there’s graffiti on the bathroom wall in your own house.

. . . the most common phrase you hear at your family reunion is “What the hell are you lookin’ at Diphead?”

. . . the game warden knows the serial numbers to your guns by heart.

. . . you have more electronic equipment in your truck than in your house.

. . . your best sofa came out of a Chevrolet.

. . . your favorite T-shirt is declared offensive in at least 13 states.

. . . your sister is the third generation of women in your family to conceive a baby due to an alien abduction.

. . . your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.

. . . you owe a taxidermist more than your monthly income.

. . . you put a riflerack on your bicycle.