UPanIN
04-07-2006, 12:59 PM
A father passed by his son’s bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.
It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant, and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you wouldn’t care for her, as she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me, and that’s now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone, and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Kevin’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that’s in my desk center drawer.
It was addressed “Dad”. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands.
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice - even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant, and Joan said that we will be very happy. Even though you wouldn’t care for her, as she is so much older than I am, she already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me, and that’s now one of my dreams too.
Joan taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone, and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
grandchildren.
Your son,
John
PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Kevin’s house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my
report card that’s in my desk center drawer.