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Eagle6Man
03-08-2006, 02:40 PM
A Texas Cowboy...



A Texas cowboy was tending to his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a

brand-new BMW advanced out ofa dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young

man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned

out the window and asked the cowboy...



"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will

you give me a calf?"



The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then

looks at his peacefully grazing herd and answers, "Sure, Why not?"



The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook

computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and

surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls

up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact

fix on his location which he then feeds to another

NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.



The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it

to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he

receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and

the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel

spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data

via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a

response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his

hi-tech, miniaturized HP

LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and

says,''You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."



That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my

calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man

select one of the animals and looks on amused as the

young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can

tell you exactly what your business is, will you give

me back my calf?"



The young man thinks about it for a second and then

says, "Okay, why not?"



"You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party," says the cowboy.



"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"



No guessing required," answered the cowboy, "You

showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an

answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know

anything about my busiiness..................Now give me back my dog."

DaHop72
03-08-2006, 02:48 PM
Originally posted by Eagle6Man
A Texas Cowboy...



A Texas cowboy was tending to his herd in a remote pasture when suddenly a

brand-new BMW advanced out ofa dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young

man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned

out the window and asked the cowboy...



"If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will

you give me a calf?"



The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then

looks at his peacefully grazing herd and answers, "Sure, Why not?"



The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook

computer, connects it to his AT&T cell phone, and

surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls

up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact

fix on his location which he then feeds to another

NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.



The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it

to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he

receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and

the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel

spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data

via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a

response. Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his

hi-tech, miniaturized HP

LaserJet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and

says,''You have exactly 1586 cows and calves."



That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my

calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man

select one of the animals and looks on amused as the

young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.



Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can

tell you exactly what your business is, will you give

me back my calf?"



The young man thinks about it for a second and then

says, "Okay, why not?"



"You're a consultant for the National Democratic Party," says the cowboy.



"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"



No guessing required," answered the cowboy, "You

showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an

answer I already knew, to a question I never asked; and you don't know

anything about my busiiness..................Now give me back my dog." :clap: :clap:

whtfbplaya
03-08-2006, 03:03 PM
:clap: :D

MHSvarsity2007
03-08-2006, 07:08 PM
:clap: :clap: :clap:

BIG BLUE DEFENSIVE END
03-08-2006, 08:39 PM
You know what is funny about the cattle business? The republicans are pushing legislation that requires all cattle in Texas to have GPS sensors implanted in them. You know what this means? That all the small-time farmers are going to get pushed out that way the large ranch owners can monopolize and control the entire cattle business. Don't you just love it when the middle and lower classes get pushed out of the picture? Thank you Republican leaders.

Pmoney
03-08-2006, 08:44 PM
haha:D :clap: