I knew depression hurts......

[Bandera YaYa]

...but I didn't know it killed. I lost a former classmate this week...he took his life, shot himself in the heart with a shotgun...I mean how does one do that??? His family knew he was suffering from depression, but i guess they didnt know how bad he was. His pastor tried to get him to go see a doctor, but to no avail. He has three children, all out of high school. I am so mad (and very sad) that no one helped him get the help he so desperately needed. It is such a huge waste. He will miss all the wonderful events of his children and grandchildren. His funeral is tomorrow. I just wanted everyone to be aware of this horrible, horrible condition. My dad suffers from it, but is on meds and my mom has been right by his side thruout, and he is doing good right now. If you see a family member or a friend or a co-worker or a neighbor struggling just to make it thru the day, PLEASE PLEASE interact with them...you may just save a life.
Rest in Peace, John...may you always be happy now. :(

[injuredinmelee]

I feel for his family and hope that their hearts are soon lightened. I do however have one problem with one of your comments.

I am so mad (and very sad) that no one helped him get the help he so desperately needed. Apparently people did try to help him such as the preacher. There is onyl one person at fault. As sad and tragic as this event is it is no ones fault.

[West22]

I HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO A LIFELONG FRIEND OF MINE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO .I SPENT THE DAY WITH HIM TWO DAYS BEFORE HE DID IT .I HAVE ASKED MYSELF HOW I WAS NOT ABLE TO PICK UP ON HIS CONDITION BUT I DID NOT .HIS DAUGHTER HAD TOLD ME HE HAD BEEN DEPRESSED BUT I WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED WHEN THEY CALLED ME .HE WAS ELDERLEY AND HAD BEEN SICK ,BUT THAT WAS NO WAY TO GO AND LEAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY .I JUST HOPE EVERYONE REALIZES YOUR FRIEND WAS PROBABLY WAS HURTING FAR MORE THAN ANYONE NEW .MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ,HIS FAMILY,AND FRIENDS .

[Bandera YaYa]

Oh you are right.....it's not anyones elses fault...just my broken heart talking......and thanks.

[Bandera YaYa]

Originally posted by West22
I HAD THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO A LIFELONG FRIEND OF MINE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO .I SPENT THE DAY WITH HIM TWO DAYS BEFORE HE DID IT .I HAVE ASKED MYSELF HOW I WAS NOT ABLE TO PICK UP ON HIS CONDITION BUT I DID NOT .HIS DAUGHTER HAD TOLD ME HE HAD BEEN DEPRESSED BUT I WAS TOTALLY SHOCKED WHEN THEY CALLED ME .HE WAS ELDERLEY AND HAD BEEN SICK ,BUT THAT WAS NO WAY TO GO AND LEAVE FRIENDS AND FAMILY .I JUST HOPE EVERYONE REALIZES YOUR FRIEND WAS PROBABLY WAS HURTING FAR MORE THAN ANYONE NEW .MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ,HIS FAMILY,AND FRIENDS . I am sorry you had to go thru this, too. I have been in shock for days over it.....I can't imagine how families deal with this! I am sorry you lost your friend.
Man, life is sooo precious and sooo taken for granted. :(

[44INAROW]

I am sorry for your loss and broken heart YaYa.. I thank the good Lord I've never had to face depression myself but I do know someone close to me that has, and it is a sad and serious condition.

[Bandera YaYa]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
I am sorry for your loss and broken heart YaYa.. I thank the good Lord I've never had to face depression myself but I do know someone close to me that has, and it is a sad and serious condition. Thanks and please keep tabs of your loved one......it's so scary to think how alone and desperate they feel. I hope he/she has alot of support and love to help in the battle.

[Astrosdawg07]

They think they help everyone around them but they are so wrong they hurt the people around them. I lost an uncle to this and I still dont understand what can take people to the extreme.

[Old Tiger]

Thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends

[SnyTigBaseB07]

Originally posted by Tiger WR
Thoughts and prayers go out to his family and friends

A couple of months ago something like this happened around here, and i remember how hard it was to move on. But with the help of friends, families and prayers we all worked through it.
Prayers go out to all the family and friends.

[eagles_victory]

When people are in the state of mind it takes to even seriously consider killing yourself they are not thinking about people around them. IMO sucide in about 99 percent of cases sucide is the most selfish act anyone can do.

[3afan]

Originally posted by Bandera YaYa
... I am so mad (and very sad) that no one helped him get the help he so desperately needed. . :(

ya gotta WANT help and be willing to ACCEPT it ....

[injuredinmelee]

It is so bad when you get to the frame of mind where you just dont care enough anymore. YOu have probably given up on yourself long before the actual act and are simply trying to suffer through for the sake of your family, friends, and loved ones and then one day the pain gets so bad that you physically cant take it anymore.

[pirate44]

im very sorry a thing like this happened yaya. thanks for letting us know. my prayers go out to his family and friends

[sinton66]

Originally posted by Astrosdawg07
They think they help everyone around them but they are so wrong they hurt the people around them. I lost an uncle to this and I still dont understand what can take people to the extreme.

People grow up with expectations put on them by family, friends, society, and especially by goals they set for themselves. What can take them to the extreme is an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy and failure as a result of their "falling short" of those expectations, even if the "failure" is only in their own eyes. Families and friends are always left with the "what ifs". Feelings of guilt about one's inability to detect the problem and forsee the future are inevitable.

What most families and friends have to come to realize is that you can't apply standard rationale to suicide because it isn't a rational act. There are exceptions of course, such as someone electing not to succumb to cancer and such, but the majority fall into the irrational category.

It takes time to come to grips with this, sometimes a LOT of time. In the end, families and friends will have to forgive the person for their act, because that's all you CAN do. Thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends.

[Aesculus gilmus]

Depression is sometimes caused by substance abuse. I don't know about this one, but a lot of times, alcoholics, especially, get so frustrated that they can't quit that they just end it all.

It is a vicious cycle, because often the person starts drinking or drugging to "change the way he feels" (maybe he was a little depressed to begin with) and it eventually has the opposite effect of what was intended and becomes a negative reinforcement loop downward into oblivion.

Another thing I see very often is widowers (not widows usually) having become so dependent on their newly-deceased mate that they cannot adjust to the changed circumstances. It is amazing how many men die within just a few years of their wife having passed on.

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by 3afan
ya gotta WANT help and be willing to ACCEPT it ....
The first step is for the person to admit to themselves that they are depressed.

I'm so sorry to hear of this, YaYa. My prayers are going out that God will help his family and friends in their time of sorrow.

[Gobbla2001]

Man, so sorry to hear this, G, it's a really tough situation I know... Hope you get better...

My step-grandfather was in a depression due to his medical condition... he was on the meds but stopped taking them, never let anyone know he had stopped... One day he did the same thing your classmate did, shotgun to the heart... I dunno how my step-grandmother can still live in that house, and dunno how my step-father and the rest of them can still go in there, but they do, I think about it every time because I know the spot and all... crazy

[MARLINDOGS]

Hate to hear this.My prayers are with the family and friends.

[mrescape43]

Sorry to hear about your loss. I can tell you from experience that depression is a horrible thing. I had bypass surgery in August of 2000 and i had a terrible time with depression. I was warned by the surgeon that it could happen but I wasn't ready for how bad it could get. Every day I woke up and felt like the world was closing in around me. It turned out to be a good thing in the end as I began walking and then jogging to get out of the house and have since logged in excess of 2700 miles on treadmill and streets since this day. I had no idea that when one had heart surgery that it could change so many things.