AggieJohn
01-19-2006, 02:08 AM
Alright in lieu of the 2005 National Champion Texas Longhorns and the upcoming NFL Playoffs i felt that it was time to post a section of a book I own that has been a profound imfluence to me……
Ladies and Gentlemen….
Now I Can Die In Peace by Bill Simmons
Bill says that when he is named commissioner of sports(for which there is not actually an office) he is going to pass legislation that enforces the following rules for sports fans *:
1. No Sports Bigamy–you have to select one team in each sport. No saying that the Pistons and the Clippers are your teams. You can not unconditionally love 2 different teams that might have the remote chance that they might go head-to-head someday.
2. If your city has fielded a professon, you are bound to support that team. None of this “well the stros weren’t good when i grew up, so i became a rangers fan”. In some cases, violation of this legislation should get you shot.
3. You can’t root for a team, back off during a down cycle, then renew the relationship when they start winning again. Cases for this one include: Longhorn fans during the early nineties, Aggies during “now”, and the cowboy fans who jumped off the bandwagon in the late 80’s, back on during the aikman/smith/irvin era, and off again in the late 90’s. You know who you are, bandwagoners
4. If your between the ages of 20 and 40 and are a yankees, cowboys, braves, raiders, steelers, celtics, lakers, bulls without hailing from the respective region…..< em>you better have a reason that goes beyond “When i was picking a favorite team as a child, i choose them”. BULLCRAP. You liked them because they were winning and you wanted to feel good about your self. Just Admit IT!!!
5. If you marry someone who roots for another team you can’t bullied into switching your alliegance. EXAMPLE: I just moved to corpus, which is close to San Antonio, Corrie is a Spurs fan, as is her family…..yet i will NOT become a Spurs fan…i am a rocket, will be a rocket, and will love the rockets through thick and thin.
6. Once You choose a team, you are stuck with them for life, unless on of the following conditions applies……
a. you grew up in a area that had no specific team in that sport, so you pick a team to fill a void, until the city gets a team….(example, the D.C. area people that used to be orioles and are now Nat’s fans)
b. One of your family has either played for that team, or is taking a relevent management/coaching/front office position
c. You followed your favorite college star (and this has to be a once in a lifetime player) to the pros and supported his team du jour..example: any UNC fan that followed MJ to the bulls, or any navy grad that followed staubach to the cowboys. However, if you are giving more love to that team than to your home team, this is unacceptable.
d. The owner of your favorite team is treating his franchise like crap.
I.E. Bud Adams, Al Davis, and the Saints owner…you have all ability to disown them until they are sold.
e. Your team moves to another city. All bets are off when that happens. In fact, if you decided to turn off that sport entirely, nobody would blame you.
* I have scaled back some of his comments to make the post not so long
Ladies and Gentlemen….
Now I Can Die In Peace by Bill Simmons
Bill says that when he is named commissioner of sports(for which there is not actually an office) he is going to pass legislation that enforces the following rules for sports fans *:
1. No Sports Bigamy–you have to select one team in each sport. No saying that the Pistons and the Clippers are your teams. You can not unconditionally love 2 different teams that might have the remote chance that they might go head-to-head someday.
2. If your city has fielded a professon, you are bound to support that team. None of this “well the stros weren’t good when i grew up, so i became a rangers fan”. In some cases, violation of this legislation should get you shot.
3. You can’t root for a team, back off during a down cycle, then renew the relationship when they start winning again. Cases for this one include: Longhorn fans during the early nineties, Aggies during “now”, and the cowboy fans who jumped off the bandwagon in the late 80’s, back on during the aikman/smith/irvin era, and off again in the late 90’s. You know who you are, bandwagoners
4. If your between the ages of 20 and 40 and are a yankees, cowboys, braves, raiders, steelers, celtics, lakers, bulls without hailing from the respective region…..< em>you better have a reason that goes beyond “When i was picking a favorite team as a child, i choose them”. BULLCRAP. You liked them because they were winning and you wanted to feel good about your self. Just Admit IT!!!
5. If you marry someone who roots for another team you can’t bullied into switching your alliegance. EXAMPLE: I just moved to corpus, which is close to San Antonio, Corrie is a Spurs fan, as is her family…..yet i will NOT become a Spurs fan…i am a rocket, will be a rocket, and will love the rockets through thick and thin.
6. Once You choose a team, you are stuck with them for life, unless on of the following conditions applies……
a. you grew up in a area that had no specific team in that sport, so you pick a team to fill a void, until the city gets a team….(example, the D.C. area people that used to be orioles and are now Nat’s fans)
b. One of your family has either played for that team, or is taking a relevent management/coaching/front office position
c. You followed your favorite college star (and this has to be a once in a lifetime player) to the pros and supported his team du jour..example: any UNC fan that followed MJ to the bulls, or any navy grad that followed staubach to the cowboys. However, if you are giving more love to that team than to your home team, this is unacceptable.
d. The owner of your favorite team is treating his franchise like crap.
I.E. Bud Adams, Al Davis, and the Saints owner…you have all ability to disown them until they are sold.
e. Your team moves to another city. All bets are off when that happens. In fact, if you decided to turn off that sport entirely, nobody would blame you.
* I have scaled back some of his comments to make the post not so long