NewYorkYankee
12-05-2005, 10:53 PM
Thank you for calling The Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1...repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are anal-retentive, please hold.
If you have anxiety-related disorder, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything...
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1...repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are anal-retentive, please hold.
If you have anxiety-related disorder, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything...