Men always get it wrong!!! [Archive]

spiveyrat

11-30-2005, 11:13 AM

A man walks into the closet to speak to his wife while she is rummaging through her clothes and asks her what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love to be six again," she replied.
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear, everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to a McDonald's they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake!
Then it was off to a movie-the latest epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola and M&Ms. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed.
He leaned over and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
One eye opened. "You idiot, I meant my dress size."
The moral of this story: Even when a man is listening, he's still gonna get it wrong.

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 11:33 AM

typical woman.

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 11:34 AM

and the way she pigged out its gonna be a 16..

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 11:39 AM

What a sweet husband... I've always said "If you expect them to read your mind, then be ready for what you get or don't get!"
Just tell em it's not hard. When your :mad: don't pout just spill it. Makes life alot easier. Can't stand a pouty person, it's just wrong.

STANG RED

11-30-2005, 11:55 AM

Originally posted by WitchyWoman
What a sweet husband... I've always said "If you expect them to read your mind, then be ready for what you get or don't get!"
Just tell em it's not hard. When your :mad: don't pout just spill it. Makes life alot easier. Can't stand a pouty person, it's just wrong.
How much would you charge to counsel my wife?
I've tried to tell her that for 25 years, but it never seems to get through.
Just kidding. Lately, she seems to have little trouble, telling me exactly what is on her mind. Whether I want to hear it or not.

It wouldnt bother me so bad, if she would just wait for the commercial breaks!

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 11:58 AM

LOL see she figured it out... Tell it like it is, you go girl. Oh and Stang remember the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for!"

zeus63

11-30-2005, 11:59 AM

I think I could tell my wife for 25 years and it wouldn't be that she doesn't understand, but that she just doesn't care. At the risk of offending some of the female poster, I think women like to argue and sometimes are just looking for a reason to be mad at us. The best solution that I have found in my short time being married (6 years) is just to say I'm sorry and buy her something.

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 12:03 PM

Originally posted by zeus63
The best solution that I have found in my short time being married (6 years) is just to say I'm sorry and buy her something.
Boy is that going to get expensive.:thinking:

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 12:03 PM

Originally posted by zeus63
I think I could tell my wife for 25 years and it wouldn't be that she doesn't understand, but that she just doesn't care. At the risk of offending some of the female poster, I think women like to argue and sometimes are just looking for a reason to be mad at us. The best solution that I have found in my short time being married (6 years) is just to say I'm sorry and buy her something.

LOL here's a small bit of advice... she's already figured out how to get what she wants from you, smart women.

STANG RED

11-30-2005, 12:05 PM

Originally posted by WitchyWoman
LOL see she figured it out... Tell it like it is, you go girl. Oh and Stang remember the phrase, "Be careful what you wish for!"
Ha Ha Ha.I know, I know. Just kidding anyway.
She's actually a pretty good ole girl. She'd have to be, to put up with my crap all these years!

zeus63

11-30-2005, 12:06 PM

Originally posted by DaHop72
Boy is that going to get expensive.:thinking:

Not really, she is satisfied with flowers and the occassional trip to Starbucks.

zeus63

11-30-2005, 12:07 PM

However, on my really big screw ups I usually aim for something in the furniture or jewelry family.

STANG RED

11-30-2005, 12:08 PM

Originally posted by zeus63
I think I could tell my wife for 25 years and it wouldn't be that she doesn't understand, but that she just doesn't care. At the risk of offending some of the female poster, I think women like to argue and sometimes are just looking for a reason to be mad at us. The best solution that I have found in my short time being married (6 years) is just to say I'm sorry and buy her something.
If you screw up as much as I do, you better change that stratagy, and quick. I'd be so poor, I wouldnt have a pot to pee in, if I did that.

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 12:08 PM

Originally posted by zeus63
However, on my really big screw ups I usually aim for something in the furniture or jewelry family.
So, does your wife have a lot of new furniture and jewelry?:D :D :D

zeus63

11-30-2005, 12:11 PM

Originally posted by DaHop72
So, does your wife have a lot of new furniture and jewelry?:D :D :D

I'm not at liberty to say. (Just kidding) I will tell you that we have almost all brand new furniture in our house and the house is new too.

JasperDog94

11-30-2005, 12:12 PM

Originally posted by STANG RED
If you screw up as much as I do, you better change that stratagy, and quick. I'd be so poor, I wouldnt have a pot to pee in, if I did that. As a guy, I've never understood this saying. Who needs a pot?:D

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 12:13 PM

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: heee heee what a women!;)

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 12:14 PM

Originally posted by JasperDog94
As a guy, I've never understood this saying. Who needs a pot?:D
Especially if you live in the country.:rolleyes:

STANG RED

11-30-2005, 12:15 PM

Originally posted by JasperDog94
As a guy, I've never understood this saying. Who needs a pot?:D
I used to think the same thing, till I got my butt eat out, when my wife started planting flowers by the back pourch, and complained about the smell of urine.
It's a sad day, when a man cant pee off his own back porch!

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 12:19 PM

Originally posted by STANG RED
I used to think the same thing, till I got my butt eat out, when my wife started planting flowers by the back pourch, and complained about the smell of urine.
It's a sad day, when a man cant pee off his own back porch!
Stang, if you have a dog just take it out at night, find the same spot and go, then you can blame the dog.:D

STANG RED

11-30-2005, 12:23 PM

Originally posted by DaHop72
Stang, if you have a dog just take it out at night, find the same spot and go, then you can blame the dog.:D
Wont work. They have a doggy door. They go when and where they want. Besides, I've been caught too many times.

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 12:24 PM

Originally posted by STANG RED
Wont work. They have a doggy door. They go when and where they want. Besides, I've been caught too many times.
Man, sorry Stang works for me.

JasperDog94

11-30-2005, 12:35 PM

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 12:35 PM

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 12:37 PM

my wife bothered me to be spontaneous so one time for no reason whatsoever I had flowers sent to her work. She called me after gettign them and said ' What did you do?" that was the last time that happened.

I just have this switch that is like an ignore button. She started yapping I hit the switch, I could care less to hear about drama or nagging.

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 12:39 PM

My dad pees whereever he needs to go. He did it int he wal mart parking lot one time during the Xmas season. He simply doesnt care. I live in the semi country and I whizz outside at every opportunity.

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 01:06 PM

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
HOLY CRAP LETS GET MARRIED!!! A woman who doenst like to paly games. Just tell it... I love you witchy...

LOL, When I was younger I had trouble with guys I dated b/c I didn't play the game... You know the one "oh honey my car is on the red line do you think I should put gas in it?" Oh Brother... My Mommie raised me better. I'd get frustrated with the "Damsel in distress" crap that all the guys seemed to flutter too, my uncles finally told me that men aren't worth a dime until they reach late 30's early 40's then they have finally figured out what's important in life and get their priorities straight. By that time they would rather have a WOMAN that can think on her own rather than a POUTY little Homecoming Queen... I think they might be right. :D

turbostud

11-30-2005, 01:09 PM

Originally posted by STANG RED

It wouldnt bother me so bad, if she would just wait for the commercial breaks!

LOL:D

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 01:10 PM

Originally posted by WitchyWoman
LOL, When I was younger I had trouble with guys I dated b/c I didn't play the game... You know the one "oh honey my car is on the red line do you think I should put gas in it?" Oh Brother... My Mommie raised me better. I'd get frustrated with the "Damsel in distress" crap that all the guys seemed to flutter too, my uncles finally told me that men aren't worth a dime until they reach late 30's early 40's then they have finally figured out what's important in life and get their priorities straight. By that time they would rather have a WOMAN that can think on her own rather than a POUTY little Homecoming Queen... I think they might be right. :D

Your MOM FOR PRESIDENT!!!

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 01:12 PM

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
Your MOM FOR PRESIDENT!!!
And her mom's a tough ole bird. She can hold her own with any man or woman.:cool:

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 01:20 PM

wow I hope she doenst mind the bird moniker otherwise you might be walkign funny for along long long time... lol

spiveyrat

11-30-2005, 01:21 PM

Sounds like some of you ought to check this (http://wwme.org/new.html) out. :thumbsup:

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 01:21 PM

Originally posted by injuredinmelee
wow I hope she doenst mind the bird moniker otherwise you might be walkign funny for along long long time... lol
Nah, GJ loves me, just ask WW. :D

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 01:22 PM

Originally posted by spiveyrat
Sounds like some of you ought to check this (http://wwme.org/new.html) out. :thumbsup:
Heck, Spivey after nearly 30 years not much is going to change me.

injuredinmelee

11-30-2005, 01:24 PM

Originally posted by spiveyrat
Sounds like some of you ought to check this (http://wwme.org/new.html) out. :thumbsup:

Are you kidding that would mean spending even MORE time with her. That isnt acceptable. You should post like a link to a free trophy whitetail hunt.

spiveyrat

11-30-2005, 01:36 PM

Go on one of those weekends and you just might be pleasantly surprised. :nerd:

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 02:08 PM

Originally posted by DaHop72
Nah, GJ loves me, just ask WW. :D

Her does, her does.... I told her you said Hi and gave her a big hug for you on Thanksgiving and she said I quote: "I just Love
_ _ _ _ Hop _ _ _ " lol! I'm gonna have to get to Lake Leon
she's catching all my Crappie :mad:

WitchyWoman

11-30-2005, 04:28 PM

Hey DaHop where did u get that Tiger Pic from I want to add a pic someone help meeeeee....... :(

DaHop72

11-30-2005, 04:29 PM

Originally posted by WitchyWoman
Hey DaHop where did u get that Tiger Pic from I want to add a pic someone help meeeeee....... :(
I have one for you, we may have to resize it but we'll see.