Ask Dogbert

[pirate44]

i got my Dilbert newsletter today (yes, i'm a geek). i thought everybody would have a good laugh from Dogbert answering people's letters. So, here goes.


Ask Dogbert
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Dogbert answers tough questions with tough love.


Dear Dogbert,

Where’s the best place to take a vacation?

Barb


Dear Burp,

I recommend France. But hurry, while there’s still something left to burn. Bring your lighter, gasoline, and lots of oily rags. If you tell airport security that you’re heading for France, they’ll wave you through.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

==

Dear Dogbert,

How can I avoid getting bird flu?

Eric


Dear Error,

Your best bet is to avoid intimate physical contact with anything that has feathers. And that means your Dukes of Hazard pillow case has got to go.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

==

Dear Dogbert,

I keep forgetting where I left my keys. Do you know where I can get some stem cells to fix that?

Nate


Dear Nut,

I recommend having a baby. They’re noisy, but an excellent source of spare parts. Just don’t get greedy. If you space it out, they won’t even notice what’s missing. And whatever you do, don’t teach them to talk. That’s just asking for trouble.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

==

Dear Dogbert,

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Marty


Dear Barfy,

God loves you. Unfortunately, the alien overlords who put you on this planet are using you to test cosmetics.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

==

Dear Dogbert,

Are golfers athletes?

Ned


Dear Nerd,

Yes, in the same way that moss is salad.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

[Ranger Mom]

Haha!!! I so loved this one:

Dear Dogbert,

Are golfers athletes?

Ned


Dear Nerd,

Yes, in the same way that moss is salad.

Sincerely,

Dogbert

[CenTexSports]

I am disappointed in you Ramger Mom. I thought someone with such a discerning eye for sports would understand the skills required to play golf. It requires a great deal of hand eye coordination, steady nerves and patience. I can understand some people not enjoying watching golf but to question the skills necessary or whether it is a sport or not is unimangeable.

I love all sports but baseball is #1, golf is #2 and football is #3.

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by CenTexSports
I am disappointed in you Ramger Mom. I thought someone with such a discerning eye for sports would understand the skills required to play golf. It requires a great deal of hand eye coordination, steady nerves and patience. I can understand some people not enjoying watching golf but to question the skills necessary or whether it is a sport or not is unimangeable.

I love all sports but baseball is #1, golf is #2 and football is #3.

Sorry to dissappoint you....but my position still stands.

Where did you get the idea that I was anything other than a football fan?

[pirate4state]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Sorry to dissappoint you....but my position still stands.

Where did you get the idea that I was anything other than a football fan?

LMAO!! :evillaugh

[CenTexSports]

My fantasy!