Joke thread...

[AP Panther Fan]

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence.

Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johhny?"

"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up,"and I've just buried him."

The neighbour was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat!"

[Bullaholic]

lol. Wish I knew some "clean" jokes, APPFan......

[3afan]

Little farmboy comes in late for school. Teacher asks why he's
late. Farmboy replies that he had to take the family cow over
to the neighbour's to get her bred by a bull.

Annoyed, teacher demands, "Can't your father do that?" Little
farm boy thinks for a moment: replies, "Well, sure... but the
bull can do it better."

[AP Panther Fan]

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were were unable to make service because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."
One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked. They're all safe."

[Ranger Mom]

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo-oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own . so does she.

[AP Panther Fan]

An appeals court is deciding whether Vermont should have raised a stink about a vanity license plate bearing a message that resembles a slogan containing a four-letter word. The legal battle began after the Vermont Department of Motor Vehicles said the "Shthpns" plate couldn't stay on a resident's pickup. The state issued her the plates, but later confiscated them...
... What a bunch of fknasholz..:cool:

[Chris Hart]

An Aggie was pulling his boat behind his truck on a hot summer day through west Texas. He was passing by a cotton field, where the heat caused haze over the field looked like water to him. He pulls over, backs his boat into the field, crawls into the boat and starts fishing. Well naturally, sooner than later, he begins to draw a crowd. The crowd murmurs amongst themselves, about what an idiot this guy is. A little later a fellow Aggie comes along, and looks curiously at the Aggie in the boat, and screams out "Buford is that you"? The Aggie in the boat replies "yeah, it's me, Buford". The other Aggie angrily responds " You know Buford, it's the ones like you that gives us Aggies a bad name, if I could swim, I'd come out there and whip your butt"!:D :D :D

[big daddy russ]

A TCU Horned Frog, a Texas Longhorn and a Texas Aggie are on their way back from a summer roadtrip when their car breaks down. As luck would have it, they're in the middle of nowhere in West Texas. Without a phone and almost broke, the trio start walking down the road to an old gas station/garage/convenience store a few miles back.

When they get there, the old man at the counter tells them there's no phone and no cabs. Realizing they don't have enough money to fix their car, they decide they need to make it the closest town, about 20 miles away, to call Ma and Pa. They divvy up the money they do have and stock up on supplies for the long, hot, mid-summer walk.

The Longhorn walks up to the Horned Frog and asks, "what did you get?"

"I bought a gallon of water and a first aid kit. It'll be hot and there's no telling what kind of varmints are out there on the open highway."

Then the Frog asks the same thing to his buddy in orange.

"Well I got some food and a Swiss Army Knife. It'll probably take us a while to get there and we need to be prepared no matter what happens."

About that time, the Aggie walks out of the garage with an old car door.

"What the hell is that for," asks the others.

"When it gets hot, we can just roll the window down."

[big daddy russ]

Gorbachev has a long one, Bush has a short one, Madonna doesn't have one and the Pope doesn't use his. What is it?

[GreenMonster]

Originally posted by big daddy russ
Gorbachev has a long one, Bush has a short one, Madonna doesn't have one and the Pope doesn't use his. What is it?

Last name

[Phil C]

For the latest Aggie Joke read the results of this poll. :)

http://lonestarshowdown.net/index.php

[Bullaholic]

An Aggie once found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a great genie appeared and said-"Oh, master of the lamp, I am at your command and I will grant you one and only one wish." The Aggie thought for a moment and said: "Genie my faithfull old dog and companion died the other day. Bring him back to life." The genie replied: "Master, the power of life and death is reserved to the Almighty, therefore I cannot grant this wish--do you have another?" The Aggie thought again and replied: "Yes, genie, I want the Aggies to beat UT on Thanksgiving Day in 2005." The genie looked perplexed and thought for a few moments. Finally, the Aggie asked--"Well genie, what about my wish?" The genie replied--"Let's have a look at that dog." :D :D

[AP Panther Fan]

A guy walks into a restaurant, orders a drink, and asks the waiter if he'd like to hear a good OSU joke.

"Listen buddy," he growled. "See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Oklahoma State football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class wrestler at OSU. That guy in the corner was Oklahoma State's all-time champion weight lifter. And I lettered in 3 sports at OSU. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?"

"Nah, guess not," the man replied. "I wouldn't want to have to explain it 5 times."