The Difference Between Football in the North and South

[SintonFan]

WOMEN'S ATTIRE
Up North: Chapstick in their back pocket and a $20 bill in their front pocket.
Down South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, powder,
mascara (waterproof), concealer, and a fifth of bourbon. Wallet
not necessary, that's what dates are for.

STADIUM SIZE
Up North: College football stadiums hold 20,000.
Down South: High School football stadiums hold 20,000.

FATHERS
Up North: Expect their daughter to understand Sylvia Plath.
Down South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

ALUMNI
Up North: Take prospects on sailing trips before they join the law firm.
Down South: Take prospects on fishing trip so they don't leave
for the NFL their senior year.

CAMPUS DECOR
Up North: Statues of founding fathers.
Down South: Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.

HOMECOMING QUEEN
Up North: Also a Physics Major
Down South: Also Miss USA.

HEROES
Up North: Mario Cuomo
Down South: "Bear" Bryant

GETTING TICKETS
Up North: 5 minutes before the game you walk into the ticket
office on campus and still purchase tickets.
Down South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket
office on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.

FRIDAY CLASSES AFTER A THURSDAY NIGHT GAME
Up North: Students and Teachers are not sure if they are going
because they have class on Friday.
Down south: Teachers cancel class on Friday because they don't
want to see the few hung over students that might actually make it
to class on Friday.

PARKING
Up North: An hour before game time the University opens the
campus for game parking.
Down South: RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on
Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The real faithful begin
arriving on Tuesday.

GAME DAY
Up North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
Down South: Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast,
and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting on Game Day "live"
to get on camera and wave to the idiots up North who wonder why
game day is never broadcast from their campus.

TAILGATING
Up North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening
to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn.
Cooking accompanied by live performance by Jerry Jeff Walker, who
comes over during breaks and ask for a hit off your bottle of bourbon.

GETTING TO THE STADIUM
Up North: You ask "Where's the stadium?" When you find it, you
walk right in with no line.
Down South: When your near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it
becomes the state's third largest city.

CONCESSIONS
Up North: Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda.
Down South: Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's
mascot--filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.

WHEN NATIONAL ANTHEM IS PLAYED
Up North: Stands are less than half full.
Down South: 100,000 fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.

THE SMELL IN THE AIR AFTER THE FIRST SCORE
Up North: Nothing Changes!
Down South: Fireworks with a twist of bourbon.

COMMENTARY (MALE)
Up North: "Nice Play."
Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbi+(h - tackle him and break his legs!!!"

COMMENTARY (FEMALE)
Up North: "My, this is a violent sport."
Down South: "Dammit you slow sumbi+(h - tackle him and break his legs!!!"

ANNOUNCERS
Up North: Paid.
Down South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight
song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

AFTER THE GAME
Up North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
Down South: Another rack of ribs on the smoker. While somebody
goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning
begins for next week's game.



.
Didn't know if this was posted before but it sure does look good. lol

[gobbler84]

lol. Yeah it's always good to read!

[footballgal]

LOL. :D

You could pretty much say the same thing about north and south
TEXAS! :D

[sahen]

this was posted once before but its funny to read, however it does have a mistake in taht college football stadiums in the north are massive, we may be more rowdy down south but in the north they have the biggest stadiums....

[Astrosdawg07]

Originally posted by SintonFan
[list]TAILGATING
Up North: Raw meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening
to local radio station with truck tailgate down.
Down South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn.
Cooking accompanied by live performance by Jerry Jeff Walker, who
comes over during breaks and ask for a hit off your bottle of bourbon.


I would change it to a form of driving...:D

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

showed this to a few of my yankee friends that im stationed w/, they agreed w/ alot of what was said about football in the north. then they laughed when i told them how true it was for the south too.

[big daddy russ]

Originally posted by sahen
this was posted once before but its funny to read, however it does have a mistake in taht college football stadiums in the north are massive, we may be more rowdy down south but in the north they have the biggest stadiums....
Only a couple. You have UM, the Horseshoe, Notre Dame and maybe two others that hold 60K or more. There are three in Florida, two in Alabama, two in Texas, and two in South Carolina. And then we have one huge one (and the two in TX that are about to be huge) in Florida, one huge one in Louisiana, and one huge one in Tennessee.