Joke

[sinton66]

A few medical doctors were discussing the advances in medicine in their respective countries. A German doctor says "We can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks." A Russian doctor says " In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks." The Arkansas doctor, not to be outdone, says "You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Arkansas, put him in the White House for eight years, and now half the country is looking for work."

<small>[ January 10, 2003, 04:21 PM: Message edited by: sinton66 ]</small>

[crzyjournalist03]

lol...that's great. Here's another Arkansas joke.

Two friends were on a trip touring the country. One was from Oklahoma, and the other was from Arkansas. While on the trip, they stop in Illinois to buy some groceries. The man from Oklahoma walks up to the manager and says, "I'm lookin' for some 'nanners and some 'taters." The manager replies, "You're from Oklahoma, aren't you?" The man responds, "How did you guess?" The manager says, "I could tell by the way you were talking."

So the man goes back to the car and tells his Arkansas friend what happened, and he is amazed. So a couple of days later while continuing their drive, the man from Arkansas tells the man from Oklahoma to stop the car. So the man from Arkansas walks into a store and tells the manager, "I'm lookin' for some 'nanners and some 'taters." The manager replies, "You're from Arkansas, aren't you?" The man, astonished, says, "How'd you know?" The manager replies, "Sir, this is a hardware store."

[pakrat]

My doctor asked me if I knew what was a crying shame. I said no, what is it. He said it's a bus load of Lawyers going over a 300 ft cliff with 2 empty seats.

[bd0707]

Question: Why don't rattlesnakes bite attorney's?
Answer: Proffesional courtesy.

[slpybear the bullfan]

Okay, you probably heard it before, but it is one of my favorite Dad jokes...

Texas is playing OU. The Cotton Bowl is going wild as OU is driving with 1 minute to go and down 3 points. They have all their timeouts and the crowd is freaking out.

Somewhere in the crowd, someone blows a whistle, and the Texas Team thinks, Oh, the game is over and leaves the field.

Four plays later OU misses the tying field goal...

"Thank You, Thank You, I'll be here all week!"

[jason]

HAHA...that's more of an A&M joke

[District303aPastPlayer]

As told to me by the girl in teh bakery at my HEB. . . childish, but i hope and pray i dont get ROMed for these:

What is green and smells like bacon??
-Kermits fingers

Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toybox?
-She kept sitting on Pinnochio's face saying.."lie to me, lie to me"

tip your waitress, youve been wonderful...

[EvermanDawg88]

There is a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an Irishman at a bar. As they sit there drinking their pints of Guiness, a fly lands in each one of the man's glasses. The Frenchman throws his glass down in disgust and storms out of the bar.
The Englishman picks the fly up and tosses him out of his glass. Then the Irishman picks up the fly, looks him dead in the eye and says, "Spit it out you dirty bastard!!!" (I'm Irish and the joke sounds so true!!!)

[callandraise]

At a class reunion a couple of years ago I ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in about 20 years. After a little small talk I ask him what he did for a living.He kind of hung his head and looked around to see if anyone was listening and then said, well to tell the truth I'm a lawyer in Austin but if you see my folks don't say anything about it, they think I'm still playing piano in a New Orleans _ _ _ _ _ house.

[callandraise]

Did you hear about the guy moving from Texas to Oklahoma and raising the average IQ of both states.

[Jacket2000]

What do Al Gore and panyhose have in common?
They both irritate Bush. eek!
J2K

[sinton66]

Dennis Rodman & Limp Bizkit

Limp Bizkit and Dennis Rodman are on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?
.
.
.
.
.
.

The music world and the NBA...

[The Chosen 1]

Here is a great joke.

Two guys were driving along a dirt road in Stephenville. As they make a sharp turn into Highway 377, the driver of the car notices a farm and a goat with its head stuck in a fence. The driver says, "It's been a long time since I've had any, and this is as good a chance as any." So the driver gets out and starts making "it" with the goat. When he gets finished, he looks into the car and asks the passenger, "Do you wanna get any of this?", and the passenger replies, "Sure, but do I have to stick my head in the fence?"

LOL :D :D :D :D