Best late to work excuses

[sinton66]

1. If you don't mind, I'm staying home today because the voices told me it's time to clean all the guns.

2. When i got up this morning, I took 2 EX-LAX with my Prozac. I'm stuck on the toilet, but I feel good about it.

3.The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I am startled.

Contribute your favorites.:D

[Ranger Mom]

44inarow posted this a month or so ago....I still think it is funny!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by 44INAROW

Calling in Sick

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says.

"I’m almost afraid to ask …..what is anal glaucoma?"

Well, I can't see my a$$ coming into work today."

[lepfan]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
44inarow posted this a month or so ago....I still think it is funny!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by 44INAROW

Calling in Sick

A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.

"What's the matter?" he asks.

"I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says.

"I’m almost afraid to ask …..what is anal glaucoma?"



That one is my favorite. I sent it to my principal...she didn't go for it :)

[lepfan]

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by sinton66
When i got up this morning, I took 2 EX-LAX with my Prozac. I'm stuck on the toilet, but I feel good about it.
.:D

:nerd: :D :D

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

Originally posted by lepfan
That one is my favorite. I sent it to my principal...she didn't go for it :) come on now, would you really expect her to go for it...that would be totally out of character:D

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by lepfan
That one is my favorite. I sent it to my principal...she didn't go for it :)

Didn't you know, most administrators must pass a rigorous "de-sense-of-humor" workshop before they sign their contracts

:D :D :D

[lepfan]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
Didn't you know, most administrators must pass a rigorous "de-sense-of-humor" workshop before they sign their contracts

:D :D :D

Actually my principal still has her sense of humor...makes it nice!!! Sure beats the one I had in LG!

[Old Green]

How about this one.

Hey ..... I won't be coming in today. I was granted access to the Corporate Network at Home. I'll do my reports at home. Call if you really need me. I'll be on the Down Low.:devil: :inlove:

[Gsquared]

I called in two weeks ago and told them I had S.I.D.S

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by Gsquared
I called in two weeks ago and told them I had S.I.D.S

:D :clap:

[robbo93]

Sorry Im late I had to read excuses for being late on the down low.:rolleyes:

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

Originally posted by robbo93
Sorry Im late I had to read excuses for being late on the down low.:rolleyes: this is more of a reason than an excuse...your boss has already been briefed that this is common practice around the office and will be accepted regardless of what work NEEDS to be done that day, it can wait, the D'Low CANNOT.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by sinton66

2. When i got up this morning, I took 2 EX-LAX with my Prozac. I'm stuck on the toilet, but I feel good about it.

.
My version of this is three cups of coffee and a St. Johns Wart...
Only you'll understand this 66. ;)