44INAROW
06-10-2005, 10:16 AM
>
I thought of Lepfan when I read this :)
The Middle Wife
>By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.
>
>
>I've been teaching for about fifteen years.
>The best birth story I know is the one I saw
>in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
>
>When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I
>always have a few sessions with my students. It helps
>them get over shyness and usually, Show-and-tell
>is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
>airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
>And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations
>on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it,
>they're welcome.
>
>Well, one day this little girl, Erica, waddles
>up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed
>under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of
>an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm
>going to tell you about his Birthday.
>
>"First, Mom &Dad made him as a symbol of their
>love, and Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach,
>and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
>Months through an umbrella cord." She's standing
>there with her hands on the pillow. I'm trying not
>to laugh &wishing I had my camcorder with
>me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
>
>"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
>and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Erica puts a hand behind
>her back and groans. "She walked around the house
>for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now the kid's
>doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back
>and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She
>delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car
>like the Domino's man." " They got my Mom to lie down
>in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her
>back against the wall. "And then, pop! My
>Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in
>case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and
>spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
>
>This kid has her legs spread and her little
>hands are miming water flowing away. It was too
>much! "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push,
>push, and breathe, breathe.'" "They started
>counting, but never even got past ten."
>
>"Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.
>He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said
>was from Mom's "play-center!", so there
>must be a lot of stuff inside there."
>
>Then Erica stood up, took a big
>theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
>I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
>
>Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day,
>I bring my camcorder, just in case another
>Erica comes along.
:D
I thought of Lepfan when I read this :)
The Middle Wife
>By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher.
>
>
>I've been teaching for about fifteen years.
>The best birth story I know is the one I saw
>in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.
>
>When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I
>always have a few sessions with my students. It helps
>them get over shyness and usually, Show-and-tell
>is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
>airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.
>And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations
>on them. If they want to lug it to school and talk about it,
>they're welcome.
>
>Well, one day this little girl, Erica, waddles
>up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed
>under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of
>an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm
>going to tell you about his Birthday.
>
>"First, Mom &Dad made him as a symbol of their
>love, and Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach,
>and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
>Months through an umbrella cord." She's standing
>there with her hands on the pillow. I'm trying not
>to laugh &wishing I had my camcorder with
>me. The kids are watching her in amazement.
>
>"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
>and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!" Erica puts a hand behind
>her back and groans. "She walked around the house
>for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' Now the kid's
>doing this hysterical duck walk, holding her back
>and groaning. "My Dad called the middle wife. She
>delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car
>like the Domino's man." " They got my Mom to lie down
>in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her
>back against the wall. "And then, pop! My
>Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in
>case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and
>spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!"
>
>This kid has her legs spread and her little
>hands are miming water flowing away. It was too
>much! "Then the middle wife starts saying 'push,
>push, and breathe, breathe.'" "They started
>counting, but never even got past ten."
>
>"Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.
>He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said
>was from Mom's "play-center!", so there
>must be a lot of stuff inside there."
>
>Then Erica stood up, took a big
>theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
>I'm sure I applauded the loudest.
>
>Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day,
>I bring my camcorder, just in case another
>Erica comes along.
:D