SintonFan
06-02-2005, 12:36 AM
Polar opposites they are and since I've enjoyed many of the jokes posted here recently I thought I'd offer a couple myself from this months Farm Show magazine.
I'm trying to makes both sides happy here but will mostly likely make twice as many mad.:evillaugh
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Advice for aging Hipsters
Take a trip to a local mall, you'll see many people over 50 who are confused. To help them out, here's a list of things that DO NOT go together.
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
13. Thongs and Depends
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A friend of mine was at a college football game last fall when he heard a student challenge a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for the older generation to understand the younger generation. "You grew up in a different world," the student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing... and uh..."
Taking advantage of the pause in the student's litany, the elderly gentleman said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young. So we invented them, you little twit! What the heck are you doing for the next generation?"
I'm trying to makes both sides happy here but will mostly likely make twice as many mad.:evillaugh
.
.
.
Advice for aging Hipsters
Take a trip to a local mall, you'll see many people over 50 who are confused. To help them out, here's a list of things that DO NOT go together.
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Bikinis and liver spots
11. Short shorts and varicose veins
12. Inline skates and a walker
13. Thongs and Depends
.
.
A friend of mine was at a college football game last fall when he heard a student challenge a senior citizen sitting next to him, saying it was impossible for the older generation to understand the younger generation. "You grew up in a different world," the student said loud enough for the whole crowd to hear. "Today we have television, jet planes, space travel, man has walked on the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars, we even have nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers with light-speed processing... and uh..."
Taking advantage of the pause in the student's litany, the elderly gentleman said, "You're right. We didn't have those things when we were young. So we invented them, you little twit! What the heck are you doing for the next generation?"