lepfan
05-20-2005, 10:26 AM
THIRTY LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE
1 - My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2 - I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3 - I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4 - Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5 - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6 - Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7 - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8 - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9 - Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10 - I'm not a complete idiot - Some parts are missing.
11 - Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13 - God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14 - The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15 - Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16 - Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17 - Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18 - Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19 - Procrastinate Now!
20 - I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21 - A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22 - A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23 - Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24 - They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25 - He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26 - A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27 - Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28 - The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29 - The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30 - I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
1 - My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2 - I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3 - I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4 - Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5 - I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6 - Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7 - You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
8 - Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9 - Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10 - I'm not a complete idiot - Some parts are missing.
11 - Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13 - God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14 - The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15 - Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16 - Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17 - Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18 - Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19 - Procrastinate Now!
20 - I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21 - A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22 - A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
23 - Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
24 - They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25 - He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26 - A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27 - Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28 - The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29 - The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30 - I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.