pirate44
03-23-2005, 10:40 AM
>Health & Fitness
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this >true?
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't >waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up
>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can >extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
>Take a nap.
>
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You
>must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
>And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an >efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain?
>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy >vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily >allowance of vegetable products.
>
>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made >from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out >of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is
>also made out of grain.
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if >you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is >one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two >to one, etc.
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular >exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
>is: No Pain...Good
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!.
Foods are
>fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How >could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little >soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you >exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be >doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO >Cocoabeans .... another vegetable!!! It's the best >feel-good food around!
>
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your >figure, explain whales to me.
>
>I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may >have had about food and diets and remember > > >......."Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with >the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and >well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one >hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn >out, and screaming - WOO HOO > >
>
>Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this >true?
>A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't >waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually.
Speeding up
>your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can >extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
>Take a nap.
>
>Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You
>must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
>And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an >efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain?
>Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy >vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily >allowance of vegetable products.
>
>Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made >from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out >of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way.
Beer is
>also made out of grain.
>
>Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if >you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is >one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two >to one, etc.
>
>Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular >exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy
>is: No Pain...Good
>
>Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!.
Foods are
>fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How >could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
>
>Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little >soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you >exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be >doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
>
>Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO >Cocoabeans .... another vegetable!!! It's the best >feel-good food around!
>
>Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your >figure, explain whales to me.
>
>I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may >have had about food and diets and remember > > >......."Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with >the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and >well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one >hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn >out, and screaming - WOO HOO > >