Comments From Patients Made While Undergoing Colonoscopies... [Archive]

HighSchool Fan

03-18-2005, 08:36 AM

1. "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me now?"

4. "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

11. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

LH Panther Mom

03-18-2005, 08:39 AM

13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

ROFL! I'd require pictures too. :p

AP Panther Fan

03-18-2005, 09:27 AM

Originally posted by LH Panther Mom
13. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

ROFL! I'd require pictures too. :p

LOL...and a signed, notarized affidavit from each and every witness!:D

pirate44

03-18-2005, 09:48 AM

ROFL:D

hokey pokey..LOL

pirate4state

03-18-2005, 10:10 AM

Those are great!

:nerd: On a serious note - go get screened. :)

pirate44

03-18-2005, 10:14 AM

Originally posted by pirate4state
Those are great!

:nerd: On a serious note - go get screened. :)
i havent been to the doc since my high school physical. thats a pretty rough way to get back in the swing of things. good advice though

AP Panther Fan

03-18-2005, 10:19 AM

Originally posted by pirate4state
On a serious note - go get screened. :)

I have. In all actuality, the pre-procedure stuff is much worse than the colonoscopy itself. ;)

Drinking what tastes like saltwater out of the bay and keeping it down proved to be a real challenge for me. I had to switch to what tasted like concentrated lemonade (minus the water and sugar).

"In the end" when all was said and done, I declined the video they offered me. Imagine that!:rolleyes: :D

pirate44

03-18-2005, 10:21 AM

Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
I have. In all actuality, the pre-procedure stuff is much worse than the colonoscopy itself. ;)

Drinking what tastes like saltwater out of the bay and keeping it down proved to be a real challenge for me. I had to switch to what tasted like concentrated lemonade (minus the water and sugar).

"In the end" when all was said and done, I declined the video they offered me. Imagine that!:rolleyes: :D
wow, they give you a video when you skydive too. i wonder if the experience is similar. :thinking:

AP Panther Fan

03-18-2005, 10:29 AM

Originally posted by pirate44
wow, they give you a video when you skydive too. i wonder if the experience is similar. :thinking:

Mmmmm, the only connection I can make is that you get scared "sh*tless" prior to the "big event".:D

ej2525

03-18-2005, 10:37 AM

Originally posted by pirate4state
Those are great!

:nerd: On a serious note - go get screened. :)

I just turned 31 recently & my wife is nagging me to go get screened and I am TERRIFIED to go. I think I may go interview several doctors and see the size of their hands and go with the smallest set I can find!! :weeping: :weeping:

ILS1

03-18-2005, 11:33 AM

"Doctor,either you lost your watch or there's a ticking time bomb up my arse"!!!!!

:eek:

ej2525

03-18-2005, 12:11 PM

"GGGEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZ DOC.... Do ya think I could at least get a little foreplay??? I mean you could have at least kissed my on the cheek first!!!" :eek:

Old Green

03-18-2005, 06:55 PM

I had the precedure did two weeks ago. Before I passed out I heard the Doctor and two nurses telling rear end jokes.:( I don't remember if I was the subject of the joke though.:confused: :confused: :confused:

LH Panther Mom

03-18-2005, 07:06 PM

AP Panther Fan

03-18-2005, 08:40 PM

Originally posted by Old Green
I had the precedure did two weeks ago. Before I passed out I heard the Doctor and two nurses telling rear end jokes.:( I don't remember if I was the subject of the joke though.:confused: :confused: :confused:

LOL...I hope you weren't the butt of their jokes. Sorry, I couldn't resist. :rolleyes: :D

From what I remember, the anesthesia was some pretty good stuff. I also hope your test turned out well!;)

JasperDog94

03-19-2005, 01:06 AM

Originally posted by ej2525
I just turned 31 recently & my wife is nagging me to go get screened and I am TERRIFIED to go. I think I may go interview several doctors and see the size of their hands and go with the smallest set I can find!! :weeping: :weeping: Just make sure the the doctor didn't go to A&M!:eek: :eek:

District303aPastPlayer

03-19-2005, 01:17 AM

Originally posted by JasperDog94
Just make sure the the doctor didn't go to A&M!:eek: :eek:

don't you think with all that experience, he'd be more qualified, and able to do it to you without pain?

JasperDog94

03-19-2005, 01:20 AM

Originally posted by District303aPastPlayer
don't you think with all that experience, he'd be more qualified, and able to do it to you without pain? I'm just thinkin' about that ring...:eek: :eek: :devil:

ej2525

03-19-2005, 09:15 AM

Originally posted by JasperDog94
I'm just thinkin' about that ring...:eek: :eek: :devil:

I will have to keep that in mind!!! :eek:

Old Dog

03-19-2005, 10:46 AM

Like said before the scoping itself isn't bad, it's just drinking all of that "bay water" and dealing with what your insurance won't pick up afterwards. I would suggest you check with your insurance carrier BEFORE you have the procedure.........I got quite a "we don't cover this or that" response! I could have bought a used car for what mine didn't cover.

Tiger90

03-19-2005, 02:48 PM

It's funny to joke about but fortunately can be life-saving. A few years ago my mom went and they found cancer. Luckily things went well and she is fine now.

AP Panther Fan

03-19-2005, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by Tiger90
It's funny to joke about but fortunately can be life-saving. A few years ago my mom went and they found cancer. Luckily things went well and she is fine now.

:clap: Great news. They really aren't that funny or fun to go through, but who can argue the need to be tested with success stories like yours!:)

Old Green

03-19-2005, 03:07 PM

Originally posted by Tiger90
It's funny to joke about but fortunately can be life-saving. A few years ago my mom went and they found cancer. Luckily things went well and she is fine now. This is so true Tiger90. I ignored the signs of cancer years ago. I went through eight months of agony. Now I can say I'm cancer free and keep my 2 year appointment.

I know some insurances don't cover some of the cost, but it is worth paying it out of pocket.

BrahmaMom

03-20-2005, 09:37 PM

Not the most fun I've had, but at least they put you to sleep. Brahmadad went in to the procedure room w/ me and the dr. asked what his evaluation was (this after many, many years post med school)--you'll be happy to know he was accurate after all these years! I slept through the embarrassing part, the worst was the prep, the best knowing everything is A-ok! Worth the hassle.