Gsquared
02-14-2005, 07:15 AM
Blondes Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1 out of
every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair
shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some
fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands
and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen. Her
roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing? The first
blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail
pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and
said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the
eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through,
covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting
glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "but I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to
the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it
keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's
amazing.... I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work
the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What's that,' he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it? "The blond
replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
****************
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and
sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept
looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances
from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look
at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any
longer, asked ."Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"
They went to see "Closed for the Winter."
***************
Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1 out of
every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.
***************
Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
*****************
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair
shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some
fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and
all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands
and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen. Her
roommate, another blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing? The first
blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail
pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and
said, "Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."
****************
A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for glasses.
The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left eye while
covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which eye was which that the
eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag with a hole to see through,
covered up the appropriate eye and asked her to read the letters.
As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears streaming down her face.
"Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to get emotional about getting
glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "but I kind of had my heart set on wire
frames."
****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to
the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it
keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's
amazing.... I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work
the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk.
"What's that,' he asked?
"Why, that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it? "The blond
replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".
****************
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and
sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept
looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances
from her, he said, "It's golf balls". Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look
at him thoughtfully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any
longer, asked ."Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"