Gsquared
02-11-2005, 07:21 AM
Harry did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into bed
and
> falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man
dressed
> in a cowl standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing
in my
> bedroom?......and who are you?" he asked.
>
> "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you
are
> in heaven."
>
> "WHAT!?? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die.....I'm too
young."
> said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."
>
> "It's not that easy", said St. Peter, "you can only return as a dog
or a
> hen. You can choose on your own..."
>
> Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog
is
> too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running
> around with a rooster can't be that bad.
> "I want to return as a hen." Harry replied. And in the next second,
he
> found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But man, now
"he"
> felt like the rear end was gonna blow........then along came the
rooster.
>
> "Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." He said. "How does it
feel?"
>
> "Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."
>
> "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
Have you
> never laid an egg before??"
>
> "No, how do I do that?" Harry asked.
>
> "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.
>
> "Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then
> 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground.
>
> "Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and
> squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on
the
> ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
>
> "Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're *crap* all over the bed!"
and
> falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with an elderly man
dressed
> in a cowl standing in front of his bed. "What the hell are you doing
in my
> bedroom?......and who are you?" he asked.
>
> "This is not your bedroom," the man replied, "I am St. Peter, and you
are
> in heaven."
>
> "WHAT!?? Are you saying I'm dead? I don't want to die.....I'm too
young."
> said Harry. "If I'm dead, I want you to send me back immediately."
>
> "It's not that easy", said St. Peter, "you can only return as a dog
or a
> hen. You can choose on your own..."
>
> Harry thought about it for a while, and figured out that being a dog
is
> too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and relaxed life. Running
> around with a rooster can't be that bad.
> "I want to return as a hen." Harry replied. And in the next second,
he
> found himself in a chicken run, really nicely feathered. But man, now
"he"
> felt like the rear end was gonna blow........then along came the
rooster.
>
> "Hey, you must be the new hen on the farm." He said. "How does it
feel?"
>
> "Well, it's OK I guess, but it feels like my rear end is blowing up."
>
> "Oh that!" said the rooster. "That's only the ovulation going on.
Have you
> never laid an egg before??"
>
> "No, how do I do that?" Harry asked.
>
> "Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.
>
> "Harry clucked twice, and pushed more than he was good for, and then
> 'Plop' and an egg was on the ground.
>
> "Wow" Harry said "that felt really good!" So he clucked again and
> squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet another egg on
the
> ground. The third time he clucked, he heard his wife shout:
>
> "Harry, for Gods sake wake up, you're *crap* all over the bed!"