HighSchool Fan
02-03-2005, 09:33 AM
Actual signs
Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "Seven days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: " If we see smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
On a fence: "Salesman welcome, Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in five minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."
Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan: "Seven days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: " If we see smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On maternity room door: "Push, Push, Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
On a butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."
On a fence: "Salesman welcome, Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every third salesman, and the second one just left."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in five minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."
On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."
In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."