By poular demand...Public Service Message (To help men better understand women)

[Chief Woodman]

Because I'm a woman, when I lock my keys in the car I will call my man and demand he leave work to rescue me. I don't care if he is working overtime to pay for a pool I have nagged him into buying, he must show up upon demand...or more nagging will occur.
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Because I'm a woman, when the car isn't running , I will again demand my man leave the work he is doing which I forced him to do to pay for something he doesn't want anyway. If he has the audacity to say that the car must have gas in order to run, I will complain that he should have filled it up twice this week. To make up for his failure, I will call my mom and we will go to the mall to do "Comfort shopping"
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Because I'm a woman, when I catch a cold, I will not stay in bed like my man suggests. The best medicine in the world for me is to be complaining. So I must get up by my own choice and complain that I never get a break. I feel better already.
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Because I'm a woman, I can be relied upon need to go to the grocery store 5-6 times a week. I myself of course cannot be expected to find go even though I forgot to get what was needed. Therefore I send someone else and complain when I do not tell them what to buy and they come home with something different. It does however give me another golden chance at nagging.
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Because I'm a woman, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on calling the repair person right away. Just because it was only unplugged, it still costs $75 in service fees but hey no worries. I still get to spend money and use the phone in one easy step. Life is grand! Top that with now my man gets to work more overtime to pay for that. I need to go shopping to feel better......
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Because I'm a woman, I must talk without ceasing so that my man must hold the television remote control in his hand to adjust the volume while I am talking. When I hide the thing so that he MUST listen to me, I blame him and tell him he lost it. That way I can nag if he spends time looking for it or or I can nag even if he stops and pays attention to me. Either way I win and he never catches on....applies to women with a mother in another town mainly.

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Because I'm a woman, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either shopping, my mother, or how I can manipulate you. (But mostly just controling you). I have to nag when you ask, so please ask.

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Because I'm a woman, I want to visit my mother, or have my mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls for the 9th time today. Our main topic is how we make fools of men and they keep comming back for more. After that we shop.
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Because I'm a woman, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if i am crying at the end of it, another woman wrote it and it made me think of how sorry you are. If you do ask me if I liked it, it gives me the chance to nag about how insensitive you are. If you don't ask I can still do it. Either way I get to nag and feel better. Time to shop again.
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Because I'm a woman, I think what you're wearing is tacky. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was tacky, too. Even if I pick out your clothes and control you, you look tacky. Can we just waste another 30 minutes changing clothes? ( I get to nag either way...I win)

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Because I'm a woman, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the earning of money. What I make is mine. What you make is mine. You get the bills. Work more overtime for things I really do not need but will nag you about if you do not get them for me. Time to shop again.


:D :D :D :D

[Ranger Mom]

hmmmm.............are you saying that we "Nag"??

[big daddy russ]

5-1 odds Woodman doesn't make it through the night.

3-1 that the women of the DL are indicted.

[LH Panther Mom]

Chief, I can honestly say that I rarely ever nag! Usually after the eleventy-third time I ask my husband or boys to do something, they get it done.....either that or they just tune me out! ;) I'll have to say I did ask for it, didn't I? :D


Originally posted by big daddy russ
5-1 odds Woodman doesn't make it through the night.

3-1 that the women of the DL are indicted.
ROFLMAO!

[Chief Woodman]

Still here.....and this was posted by request of at least one of the ladies.....and by the way....it is intended as fun, not too serious.

[AP Panther Fan]

Originally posted by Chief Woodman
Still here.....and this was posted by request of at least one of the ladies.....and by the way....it is intended as fun, not too serious.

And EXACTLY where it is that you live and work?:D

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by big daddy russ
5-1 odds Woodman doesn't make it through the night.

3-1 that the women of the DL are indicted.

ROFL Now that's funny

[rhs78]

AMEN, HALE TO CHIEF WOODMAN, THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER PSA. THANKS

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by rhs78
AMEN, HALE TO CHIEF WOODMAN, THIS IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE OTHER PSA. THANKS

:tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

[rhs78]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
:tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

BE NICE RM, I LAUGHED AT YOUR PSA ALSO!!!

[Jet1]

:eek: :eek: :eek: Ranger Mom be nice:p :p :p

[sahen]

wow whoever that woman is, is a 5 letter word that im not allowed to post here....rhymes with itch though....

[LH Panther Mom]

Originally posted by sahen
wow whoever that woman is, is a 5 letter word that im not allowed to post here....rhymes with itch though....

(shhhh......I think that's Chief's wife. ;) )

[Chief Woodman]

Originally posted by LH Panther Mom
(shhhh......I think that's Chief's wife. ;) )


Now THAT was funny. I laughed a long time. My wife? If my mate acted like that she would be my ex-wife REALLY fast.

[LH Panther Mom]

Words Women Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks -- this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

GO AHEAD (With Lowered Eyebrows)
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

LOUD SIGH!
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh!" means she wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY!
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay!" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay!."

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT!
This goes much deeper than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot!" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh!" Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh!," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Then send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh.

[Chief Woodman]

Originally posted by LH Panther Mom
Words Women Use

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks -- this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

GO AHEAD (With Lowered Eyebrows)
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

LOUD SIGH!
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh!" means she wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY!
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay!" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay!."

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT!
This goes much deeper than "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot!" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh!" Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh!," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology. Then send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh.

Thanks for the insight. Seeing such off the planet attempt at logic is really funny. It just further proves that women do not speak English and then think the men are stupid because they do not interpret a strange language.

People really complain when someone cannot communicate well. One of the most basic rules in communication is that you use the same words having the same meanings. If your words you speak do not have standard meanings, you are NOT communicating, you are just making noise.

Here is a short example: picture in your mind a cow. What color is your cow? What is your cow doing? If the cow you pictured in your mind was not black and white you are stupid. If it was not swimming in the ocean you are insensitive to my needs. The cow I am talking about is a mother killer whale. If you could not know that by interpreting my strange language you are a poor communicator. I have every right to complain about your insensitivities because you cannot read my mind. You poor thing.



:D :D :D

[LH Panther Mom]

I'm an equal opportunity type of person, so this is to be fair to the ladies. :D

Men's Thesaurus.....

I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

[Chief Woodman]

Originally posted by LH Panther Mom
I'm an equal opportunity type of person, so this is to be fair to the ladies. :D

Men's Thesaurus.....

I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "I'm going stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING."
Means: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Means: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

Yep. Men do it too. Nice to have some humor on such a dismal day.

[BrahmaMom]

These are all outstanding and you guys should commit them to memory to make life with females simpler. I have just one more that goes hand in hand with the male statement "I can't find it"--"Why don't we have any ketchup (with an exasperated voice as to indicate "how stupid of you to not make sure we always have ketchup")?" When, in reality, we have three partial bottles of ketchup all in the refrigerator you are holding the door open to, but none of the three are right on the top shelf in the very front at eye level!!! Love ya, guys!!

[onfirebball05mustang]

:clap: :clap: :clap:

too funny, luckily i don't nag, and i don't run to mommy....dad's usually a better shot....