Man Schooling 101

[Ranger Mom]

G2...you might want to check into this further!! :p

Man Schooling:

For those of you who are married, were married, or are contemplating marriage - under the assumption that men need (or ought) to be trained for Marriage, Southwest Tech is offering a new 2 year associates degree....

TWO YEAR DEGREE: Becoming a Real Man. That's right, in just six mini-mesters, you too, can be a real man as well as earn an ASSociates degree in MA (Male Arts). Please take a moment to look over the program outline.

FIRST YEAR

Autumn Schedule:

MEN 101 Combating Stupidities

MEN 102 You, Too, Can Do Housework

MEN 103 PMS-Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy underclothes for Christmas



Winter Schedule:

MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques

MEN 111 Understanding the Female Response to Getting in at 2AM

MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End with Conception

EAT 100 Get a Life, Learn to Cook

EAT 101 Get a Life, Learn to Cook II

ECON 001A What's Hers is Hers



Spring Schedule:

MEN 120 How NOT to Act Like a Butthole When you're Wrong

MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence

MEN 122 YOU, the Weaker Sex


MEN 123 Reasons to Give Flowers

ECON 001C What Was Yours is Hers





SECOND YEAR
Autumn Schedule:

SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It

SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower

SEX 103 How to Stay Awake After Sex

MEN 201 How to Put the Toilet Seat Down



Elective (See Electives Below)

Winter Schedule:

MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

MEN 211 How to Not Act Younger than Your Children

MEN 212 You Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

MEN 213 Honest, You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise

MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important



Spring Schedule:

MEN 220 Omitting %&*! From Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)

MEN 221 Fluffing the Blanket after Farting is NOT Necessary

MEN 222 Real Men Ask for Directions

MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging is NOT Considered Foreplay

MEN 230B Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 2



Course Electives:

EAT 101 Cooking with Tofu

EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils

EAT 103 Burping and Belching Discreetly

MEN 231 Mothers-in-law

MEN 232 Appear to Be Listening

MEN 233 Just Say "Yes, Dear"

ECON 001C Cheaper to Keep Her

Just a thought for all the women out there...



MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnocologist

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?

[onfirebball05mustang]

:clap: :clap: :p :clap: :clap:
Great job Rm!!
We should set up a scholarship fund to send people to it...:thinking:

[Ranger Mom]

I printed this out for my husband with the course "We do not want sleazy underclothes for Christmas" hi-lited in bright yellow!

I think I took the wind out of his sails, cause he said "I don't know what to get you then"!:rolleyes:

[onfirebball05mustang]

ouch:eek:
just point to the class:
Reasons to get her flowers...
or the most recent addition to electives:
The importance of jewelry

[Bubba-Joe]

Maw
you didn't say nothing bout
HOG HUNTIN FOR WOMEN
what is up with that
some of our closest moments as husband and wife have been on hunting trips
My wife is one heck of a shot
one of the many reason I try not to upset the little lady

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by onfirebball05mustang
ouch:eek:
just point to the class:
Reasons to get her flowers...
or the most recent addition to electives:
The importance of jewelry

yes, Jewelry and/or flowers.. can't go wrong there. I have been so lucky in the past to get a lawn mower for mother's day :eek:

[Ranger Mom]

Flowers is a BIG no-no for me!! I don't want something that's gonna die in a few days.

Just give me a gift card to Home Depot and point me to the power tools and I'm a happy camper!!:D

[44INAROW]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Flowers is a BIG no-no for me!! I don't want something that's gonna die in a few days.

Just give me a gift card to Home Depot and point me to the power tools and I'm a happy camper!!:D
lol then you would have appreciated the lawn mower :)
it IS self-propeled

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by 44INAROW
lol then you would have appreciated the lawn mower :)
it IS self-propeled

Well, I have to admit this! I am almost 41 and have NEVER mowed a lawn in my life!

[onfirebball05mustang]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Well, I have to admit this! I am almost 41 and have NEVER mowed a lawn in my life!

I'm 18...never have either....that's usually mom's job:p

[Bubba-Joe]

Bubba Joe got his wife
Betty Jean a Gas Grill from Sears for mothers day once
she shed tears of JOY
She has gotten a shotgun for Christmas in the past
Love that little gal of mine

:) :)

[kaorder1999]

how cound you say one second..."point me to the powertools" and the next second say you have "never mowed a lawn
". That isnt American!

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by kaorder1999
how cound you say one second..."point me to the powertools" and the next second say you have "never mowed a lawn
". That isnt American!

Because building things is fun...mowing a lawn isn't!!

I have a husband and 5 kids, why would I mow the lawn?

[Bubba-Joe]

Cause Ranger Maw knows how to keep her man happy
She gets him power tools
and keeps a roof over her head
Am I right Maw
I would bet Ranger Maw has done some of that home improvement stuff that is so popular on the TV these day
Betty Jean just loves that show
Tradin Spaces
she gets all kinds of new ideas.
which require a charge accout at Lowes and Home Depot

[kaorder1999]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
Because building things is fun...mowing a lawn isn't!!

I have a husband and 5 kids, why would I mow the lawn?

GREAT point

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by Bubba-Joe
Cause Ranger Maw knows how to keep her man happy
She gets him power tools
and keeps a roof over her head
Am I right Maw
I would bet Ranger Maw has done some of that home improvement stuff that is so popular on the TV these day
Betty Jean just loves that show
Tradin Spaces
she gets all kinds of new ideas.
which require a charge accout at Lowes and Home Depot

That's ALMOST right...he gets ME power tools!!:D Any home improvement, and there has been A LOT, has been my idea, my plans, etc. I just use hubby for the heavy stuff.;)

[Bubba-Joe]

We got kids for the heavy stuff
you ought to see that 10 year old moving them cender blocks and such

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by Bubba-Joe
We got kids for the heavy stuff
you ought to see that 10 year old moving them cender blocks and such

For some reason, everytime I start a "project" my kids seem to scatter!

[BIGGBROTHER]

Isnt their a supplement course to where you bypass all classes
and just sign over checks?

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by BIGGBROTHER
Isnt their a supplement course to where you bypass all classes
and just sign over checks?

Hmmm.....good idea!!:thinking:

[JasperDog94]

Originally posted by Ranger Mom
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy underclothes for Christmas
Crud! Now I gotta find that gift receipt...

[BIGGBROTHER]

1.combating stupidity- well stop arguing with us

2. housework- we got the outside you stay inside

3.keeping mouth shut- hypocracy knows no boundary

4.laundry soap water rinse dry work cloths are not that hard

5.2am shouldnt you be asleep anyway?

6.parenting well everyone needs a class in that

7.learn to cook? the best chefs in the world are men plus if you aloud us to use a grill instead of that whats it called "stove"
we would cook more

8 hers? if i payed for it its mine and we pay for everything eventually

9 well dont act like a b*%^@ when we are right

10 incompetence whew i thought you said impotent

11 weaker sex? who picks up who?

12 give flowers oh sure then we get "so you think i smell!" or "what did you do!?"

13 mine is hers what you think

14 fall asleep without you talkin yeah thats true

15 if its awake be happy cause with your attitude it doesnt want to be awake often

16stay awake we do the work we get the rest

17 put the seat down? we lifted it up! you put it down

18 the remote as long as we are not waving it in the air saying I HAVE THE POWERRRRRR get over it

19 why you acting so old?

20 you dont look like penelope cruz

21 so is the superbowl

22.language? your the ones always saying to express our feelings

23.fluffing well its better than holding your head under the covers

24.directions if the yap would shut we could concentrate

25.begging is not fore but the girls at the club say it is

26.tofu is not food beans dont look like that

27.utensill sporks are as good as any

28 burp and fart yea who hath not cast first stone

29 mothersinlaw we only have one mamma and it aint yours

30appear to be listening well appear to shut up

31just say yes dear just dont ask for anything

32 cheeper first ive heard about this.


just a laugh dont take me serious

[pirate44]

serious or not, that was funny:D

[kaorder1999]

I learn a lot from the greatness that is 3Adownlow