Ranger Mom
11-23-2004, 12:57 PM
THANKSGIVING POWER
The turkey done, our taste buds flowing.
Thanksgiving cheer just kept on growing,
But holiday fear soon came to life
as dad appeared with his power knife.
Last Christmas we gave him this toy.
Which he unwrapped like a little boy.
He revved it up, we heard him say,
"just wait till next Thanksgiving Day!"
I saw my mother cringe with fear,
She'd watched him charging it all year.
Last summer with this awesome tool
He was expelled from carving school.
He pulled the trigger, Zing! Zing! Zing!!!
Cried, "Listen to this baby sing!"
I urged my little sister, Dawn,
To put her riding helmet on.
The crowd was silent, not a word,
As we watched blade encounter bird.
"The wings go first," we heard him cry.
We saw the right wing flying by:
Across the table dripping doodles,
It flipped, "KERPLOP" into the noodles.
My Uncle Jim who had no hair
now found five noodles resting there.
The left wing's travel plans weren't clear,
Until it rang the chandelier.
And then we found that wings can float:
It nose-dived into the gravy boat.
"Now the legs!!" Which sent cold chills
And we all "headed for the hills"
We heard the splatters, then the thuds:
The right leg crashed into the spuds.
Our dog, Big Red, sat up to beg:
And was leveled by the other leg.
Poor Cousin Charlie hit the deck
To dodge the swift low-flying neck.
Our cat was creeping toward the plate,
Mom's "look out" came a little late.
A buzz, a squeal, a plaintive wail:
Then: kitty with a hairless tail.
When Dad inquired, "Who wants white meat?"
Each one was crouched beneath a seat.
We watched the specks of turkey fly
To decorate the pumpkin pie.
Dad shut it off and said, "Lets eat."
And presented shredded turkey meat.
Then we applauded-everyone
For we were thankful it was done.
The pumpkin pie was a taste delight.
The dressing sweet and browned just right.
We each enjoyed the afternoon.
And we ate the turkey with a spoon.
Our dad is seldom such a bother,
In fact, he is a real cool father.
It's our fault cause we broke this rule:
"DON'T EVER GIVE YOUR DAD A POWER TOOL!!"
May everyone have a great Thanksgiving.
The turkey done, our taste buds flowing.
Thanksgiving cheer just kept on growing,
But holiday fear soon came to life
as dad appeared with his power knife.
Last Christmas we gave him this toy.
Which he unwrapped like a little boy.
He revved it up, we heard him say,
"just wait till next Thanksgiving Day!"
I saw my mother cringe with fear,
She'd watched him charging it all year.
Last summer with this awesome tool
He was expelled from carving school.
He pulled the trigger, Zing! Zing! Zing!!!
Cried, "Listen to this baby sing!"
I urged my little sister, Dawn,
To put her riding helmet on.
The crowd was silent, not a word,
As we watched blade encounter bird.
"The wings go first," we heard him cry.
We saw the right wing flying by:
Across the table dripping doodles,
It flipped, "KERPLOP" into the noodles.
My Uncle Jim who had no hair
now found five noodles resting there.
The left wing's travel plans weren't clear,
Until it rang the chandelier.
And then we found that wings can float:
It nose-dived into the gravy boat.
"Now the legs!!" Which sent cold chills
And we all "headed for the hills"
We heard the splatters, then the thuds:
The right leg crashed into the spuds.
Our dog, Big Red, sat up to beg:
And was leveled by the other leg.
Poor Cousin Charlie hit the deck
To dodge the swift low-flying neck.
Our cat was creeping toward the plate,
Mom's "look out" came a little late.
A buzz, a squeal, a plaintive wail:
Then: kitty with a hairless tail.
When Dad inquired, "Who wants white meat?"
Each one was crouched beneath a seat.
We watched the specks of turkey fly
To decorate the pumpkin pie.
Dad shut it off and said, "Lets eat."
And presented shredded turkey meat.
Then we applauded-everyone
For we were thankful it was done.
The pumpkin pie was a taste delight.
The dressing sweet and browned just right.
We each enjoyed the afternoon.
And we ate the turkey with a spoon.
Our dad is seldom such a bother,
In fact, he is a real cool father.
It's our fault cause we broke this rule:
"DON'T EVER GIVE YOUR DAD A POWER TOOL!!"
May everyone have a great Thanksgiving.