Idiots of 2004

[Ranger Mom]

Number One Idiot of 2004

(This from a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at a poison control center.) Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.

Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2004

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed atBoeing.

Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
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Number Three Idiot of 2004

A true story out of San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window.
So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.

Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
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Number Four Idiot of 2004

A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, because I don't believe you are over 21. "The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At that point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

This guy definitely needs a sign!
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Idiot Number Five of 2004

A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself.
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Idiot Number Six of 2004

Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglass. The whole event was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts.

Give him his sign.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2004

Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A. M., fla shed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

Sign please.
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Please note that all of the above people are allowed to vote. Scary, isn't it?!

[BullFrog Dad]

Ranger Mom, Those were great! Let's see in the first one you got a kid eating ants and a Mom who gives her poison to kill them. I wonder if their family tree is peppered with Rhodes Scholars.

[kaorder1999]

i ve got one that ranks right bup there with those above. This is also a true story.

My mother used to babysite for a friend of ours because she had nobody to watch her child while she went to school....high school.

Well...one night that friend of our called because she was worried about her child. She said the child was screaming all night and my mom reminded her that the child may have an ear infection. My mother mentioned that the child needed some tyleon of some sort...cant remember whether it was a child's tablet or liquid but anyways...the friend said she would do that and then she called back an hour later and said the crying had gotten worse. Come to find out...the mother put the Tylenol IN the childs ear. IN THE EAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[poncho]

LOL Haha those are funny!!:D

[JasperDog94]

I worked at a bank in Jasper one summer when this happened:

A guy had been sitting in his car for about 5 minutes when I buzzed him to ask him if he had sent his stuff in. He said that he had. I pushed a button to make the tube come through but it wasn't moving. (These tubes go underground) I asked him what he put in the tube. He said about 25 dollars in loose change. I shook my head and asked him if he saw the sticker on the tube that said "No rolled coins". He said that he had seen the sign.
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So he unrolled the coins and put them in the tube!:doh: :doh:

[Jody]

I think I have earned the Idiot spot...........what you think there Japer friend?

[Stangster]

The thing about common sense is that it isn't all that common.

[big daddy russ]

A friend of mine (we'll call him Brussell ;) ) went camping out on the Devil's River for his 16th birthday with about seven or eight of his good friends. We were all crawfishing at the bottom of the river and decided we wanted to take the boat upstream a little and look for some more crawdads. Only problem was that we didn't have an anchor.

Well, being the ingenuitive country boys that we are, we decided to make our own anchor using rope and whatever we could find to anchor us down. So we all split up and start looking around. About 15 minutes later, my friend comes out hauling this HUGE dried-up stump and says, "This'll get 'er done." His friends, thinking he's joking, start to laugh. When they realize he's not joking, they laugh harder.

This friend of mine looks puzzled, so they tell him to throw that huge, 100-lb. block of wood into the water.

Here's my.... I mean his... sign....

[Stangster]

You know what they say about "horse sense"?

It's stable thinking.

[SoulTaker_IP]

wow.....
people are very, very stupid in this world......

[FbCoachB40]

My aunt worked at a 7-11 in the early eighties. A robber came in one night, and told her to give her all the money. She looked at his gun, and told him how beautiful it was and how she wanted to get her husband one similar to it. He said that it was a great gun. Sooooo, she asks if she can see it. AAAnnnndddd, he gives it to her!!! She held him there until the police showed up with HIS SIGN.