LH Panther Mom
10-18-2004, 07:08 AM
~ ~ ~ • Where's My Sign? • ~ ~ ~
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was
full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our
driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you
moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's
your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of
mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up
this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the
dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
Talked 'em into giving up.. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the
Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark
bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good...They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and
you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into
one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The
attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me,
and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those
other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your
sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy
came over to the house and drove the car around for
about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets
out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been
wearing his sign , I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of
adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height
of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it
out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He
went through his basic questioning ... okay....no
problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a
sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at
the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm
delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked
at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No.
I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all
your friends. The next time someone says something
stupid, ask them where their sign is.
IF ANYONE FINDS MY SIGN, PLEASE SEND IT BACK.
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your sign."
It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was
full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our
driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you
moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or
twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's
your sign."
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of
mine, we pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up
this big ol' stringer of bass and this idiot on the
dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
Talked 'em into giving up.. Here's your sign."
I was watching one of those animal shows on the
Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark
bite suit. And there's only one way to test it.
"Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks
good...They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and
you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into
one of those side-of-the-road gas stations. The
attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me,
and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't
resist. I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those
other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your
sign."
We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy
came over to the house and drove the car around for
about 45 minutes. We get back to the house, he gets
out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust
pipe, then says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been
wearing his sign , I could have stopped him.
I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of
adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height
of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it
out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He
went through his basic questioning ... okay....no
problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a
sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I
couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at
the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm
delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked
at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No.
I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."
Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all
your friends. The next time someone says something
stupid, ask them where their sign is.
IF ANYONE FINDS MY SIGN, PLEASE SEND IT BACK.