Keith7
09-14-2004, 09:18 PM
Top 10 things heard in the Rangers bullpen
10. "No, you can't have my autograph, but you can have my chair."
9. "Remember, lift the chair with your legs. You don't want to hurt your back."
8. "Don't mess with us, people. We're full of steroids and could snap at any time."
7. "These fans are crazy! I bet Steinbrenner signs them in the offseason."
6. "I told you guys not to do your Derek Lowe impressions tonight."
5. "You guys realize we added Jeff Nelson in the offseason, right?"
4. "Joke's on you. Because we broke that chair and management will have to replace it, you guys probably won't be able sign Hudson."
3. "Damn. There's trouble brewing and I left my "What Would Karim Garcia Do" bracelet at home."
2. Rangers reliever Frank Francisco to Rangers reliever Francisco Cordero: "Dude, which one of us do you think they're talkin' about?"
1. "You are a complete A's-hole."
Top 10 things heard in the stands
10. "It says on the fans' tickets that they should watch for objects flying into the stands. Nobody says it has to be the ball."
9. "Man! You must really suck to not even make the Rangers starting rotation."
8. "I'm never coming to 'Throw A Chair At The Fans Night' again."
7. "What are you gonna do? Find some guy named Walker on the team to beat us up?"
6. "Go ahead and throw the chair; everything you guys throw ends up in the bleachers, anyway."
5. "Better not let Chan Ho try and hit us. You guys don't have enough chairs down there."
4. "Welcome to 'Ligue Family Reunion' night at the old ballpark."
3. "Buck you, Showalter!"
2. "Sorry, big misunderstanding. We thought you were the Mariners."
1. "These baseball games sure are a great way to warm up for next week's Raiders home opener!"
10. "No, you can't have my autograph, but you can have my chair."
9. "Remember, lift the chair with your legs. You don't want to hurt your back."
8. "Don't mess with us, people. We're full of steroids and could snap at any time."
7. "These fans are crazy! I bet Steinbrenner signs them in the offseason."
6. "I told you guys not to do your Derek Lowe impressions tonight."
5. "You guys realize we added Jeff Nelson in the offseason, right?"
4. "Joke's on you. Because we broke that chair and management will have to replace it, you guys probably won't be able sign Hudson."
3. "Damn. There's trouble brewing and I left my "What Would Karim Garcia Do" bracelet at home."
2. Rangers reliever Frank Francisco to Rangers reliever Francisco Cordero: "Dude, which one of us do you think they're talkin' about?"
1. "You are a complete A's-hole."
Top 10 things heard in the stands
10. "It says on the fans' tickets that they should watch for objects flying into the stands. Nobody says it has to be the ball."
9. "Man! You must really suck to not even make the Rangers starting rotation."
8. "I'm never coming to 'Throw A Chair At The Fans Night' again."
7. "What are you gonna do? Find some guy named Walker on the team to beat us up?"
6. "Go ahead and throw the chair; everything you guys throw ends up in the bleachers, anyway."
5. "Better not let Chan Ho try and hit us. You guys don't have enough chairs down there."
4. "Welcome to 'Ligue Family Reunion' night at the old ballpark."
3. "Buck you, Showalter!"
2. "Sorry, big misunderstanding. We thought you were the Mariners."
1. "These baseball games sure are a great way to warm up for next week's Raiders home opener!"