Wildcat81
06-06-2004, 05:26 AM
I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of
men and women differ so much. And I never figured
out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and
women think with their heart. I have never
figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the
words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I
were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts
to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said
"WHAT???!!!
What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're
just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman, enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am
and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with
her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the
jewellery department when she picked out a pair
of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just
went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I
just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping
needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me I added ....
"Why can't you just love me for who am and not
for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until
sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell.
men and women differ so much. And I never figured
out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never
figured out why men think with their head and
women think with their heart. I have never
figured out why the sexual desire gene gets
thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the
words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I
were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts
to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me." I said
"WHAT???!!!
What was that?!" So she says the words that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're
just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman, enough for me to satisfy your physical
needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am
and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that
night I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of
work to spend time with her. We went out to a
nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with
her while she tried on several different very
expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new
shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the
jewellery department when she picked out a pair
of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so
excited. She must have thought I was one wave
short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
said, "That's
fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual
satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out,
"No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just
went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled "WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I
just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping
needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me I added ....
"Why can't you just love me for who am and not
for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until
sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell.