Retirement Plans?

[Sans Couth]

I have what I think is a pretty fool proof plan.

Every week I wire 75 bucks into an account in Acapulco Mexico that I established while on vacation there in 1982. I have been putting the money there every week for over 20 years with interest. My plan is to wait until I turn 50 which is not too far off, and then I am going to FAKE being sick, and pretend that I can't remember anything. I plan to wander off for a few days at a time and to let my kids find me after a few days a couple of towns away sitting in a Dairy Queen broke and hungry. If my plan works like I hope it will, after a year of so of doing this, I will just catch a plane to Mexico and live happily ever after, and all of my heirs will think that I just wandered off and got lost.

Do any of you guys have any good plans? I am sure that mine is an excellent one.

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

man, you got issues...id suggest going camping alone right before you go too mexico so they will start looking there and you can pack a few articles of clothing and anything else and not look like your going senial or anything.

[pinecone]

hehehe...sounds more like pretty proof of a fool to me.:D

[lepfan]

mine is to spend what little $$$ my kids leave me with (after I finish raising them)

[kaorder1999]

Originally posted by lepfan
mine is to spend what little $$$ my kids leave me with (after I finish raising them)

dogs are cheaper then kids....and they obey most of the time...

[sinton66]

Ya gotta be careful with a plan like this, Sans Couth. The kiddos just might decide you need to be in a "home". You probably don't want them mad at you when they decide which one is best for you.;)

[Ranger Mom]

I think I am just gonna have to work til I die!!:( :(

[olddawggreen]

By the time I get my last one out of college, I will probably have enough left to buy a bag of fire ant killer to spread around the old oak tree that I want my kids to prop me up under at the ranch. Maybe if they have done well enough with those degrees (that they have hopefully gotten) one of them will buy me a fly swatter so I can have some entertainment while I sit there in my happyly retired bliss. :( :(

[vet93]

The only problem with that plan is that the fire ants that I have been around eat "fire ant killer" for breakfast. I think it makes them grow faster....maybe it is some kind of fire ant steroid.


Originally posted by olddawggreen
By the time I get my last one out of college, I will probably have enough left to buy a bag of fire ant killer to spread around the old oak tree that I want my kids to prop me up under at the ranch. Maybe if they have done well enough with those degrees (that they have hopefully gotten) one of them will buy me a fly swatter so I can have some entertainment while I sit there in my happyly retired bliss. :( :(

[olddawggreen]

Thats what the fly swatter is for. ;)

[Sans Couth]

Powdered Tide Laundry Soap is the best ant killer on the market. Just pour a circle of Tide around the mound, and it will kill every ant in the village.

[Chief Woodman]

I can retire in 4 years, 11 months and 11 days but who is counting. I will be 49 1/2 and draw 94% of my current salary. I will probably stay an additional 5 years making me 54 1/2 and leave with $318,000 cash after taxes and an annual salary of about $94,000 a year. Combined with $500, 000 in defered comp and NO BILLS I should be OK. Not bad for some fool with no college degree don't ya think? Still have my health right now (run 4 miles a day 4 times a week) and a part a my sanity. Sons college is already paid for. Now what type of plane do I want...a Mooney or a Bonanza? hehehehehe

[Sans Couth]

Originally posted by Chief Woodman
I can retire in 4 years, 11 months and 11 days but who is counting. I will be 49 1/2 and draw 94% of my current salary. I will probably stay an additional 5 years making me 54 1/2 and leave with $318,000 cash after taxes and an annual salary of about $94,000 a year. Combined with $500, 000 in defered comp and NO BILLS I should be OK. Not bad for some fool with no college degree don't ya think? Still have my health right now (run 4 miles a day 4 times a week) and a part a my sanity. Sons college is already paid for. Now what type of plane do I want...a Mooney or a Bonanza? hehehehehe

Do you drive a choo choo train?

[BullFrog Dad]

Originally posted by Chief Woodman
I can retire in 4 years, 11 months and 11 days but who is counting. I will be 49 1/2 and draw 94% of my current salary. I will probably stay an additional 5 years making me 54 1/2 and leave with $318,000 cash after taxes and an annual salary of about $94,000 a year. Combined with $500, 000 in defered comp and NO BILLS I should be OK. Not bad for some fool with no college degree don't ya think? Still have my health right now (run 4 miles a day 4 times a week) and a part a my sanity. Sons college is already paid for. Now what type of plane do I want...a Mooney or a Bonanza? hehehehehe I could post my retirement plans(over 25 years w/fortune 500 company so far) but there's something to be said for humility.

[Bandera YaYa]

Originally posted by olddawggreen
By the time I get my last one out of college, I will probably have enough left to buy a bag of fire ant killer to spread around the old oak tree that I want my kids to prop me up under at the ranch. Maybe if they have done well enough with those degrees (that they have hopefully gotten) one of them will buy me a fly swatter so I can have some entertainment while I sit there in my happyly retired bliss. :( :( Hey, you just let me know, and I'll buy you a swatter!!! Us oldies gotta stick together!! :D

[Bandera YaYa]

Originally posted by Chief Woodman
I can retire in 4 years, 11 months and 11 days but who is counting. I will be 49 1/2 and draw 94% of my current salary. I will probably stay an additional 5 years making me 54 1/2 and leave with $318,000 cash after taxes and an annual salary of about $94,000 a year. Combined with $500, 000 in defered comp and NO BILLS I should be OK. Not bad for some fool with no college degree don't ya think? Still have my health right now (run 4 miles a day 4 times a week) and a part a my sanity. Sons college is already paid for. Now what type of plane do I want...a Mooney or a Bonanza? hehehehehe I just have one question.....ARE YOU ALREADY MARRIED!!!!!!! :D

[bullfrog_alumni_02]

Originally posted by BullFrog Dad
I could post my retirement plans(over 25 years w/fortune 500 company so far) but there's something to be said for humility. i agree, ive only been around for 20 yrs, and no comepanies or corporations, but i could care less how much money i have when im old and grey, i just wanna raise good kids and give back to my hometown what its given me.

[lepfan]

Originally posted by kaorder1999
dogs are cheaper then kids....and they obey most of the time...

True! But they get fleas....oh, wait kids do too!:rolleyes:

[slpybear the bullfan]

Its funny... my wife and I just bought a Travel Trailer to take the kids camping.... the payments are very small.

I know that the little bit of money each month would probably make a nice little addition to the retirement funds... But I think we will get a lot more than cash out of the time we spend together.

Spent our first weekend at Mineral Wells State Park... What a great time together. I hope we can do this several times a year before the kids find it "uncool" to camp with Mom and Dad...

[3afan]

Originally posted by BullFrog Dad
I could post my retirement plans(over 25 years w/fortune 500 company so far) but there's something to be said for humility.
i couldn't agree more :rolleyes:

[olddawggreen]

Originally posted by Bandera YaYa
Hey, you just let me know, and I'll buy you a swatter!!! Us oldies gotta stick together!! :D

Thanks YaYa, its great to have a little security! :) ;)

[olddawggreen]

Originally posted by slpybear the bullfan
Its funny... my wife and I just bought a Travel Trailer to take the kids camping.... the payments are very small.

I know that the little bit of money each month would probably make a nice little addition to the retirement funds... But I think we will get a lot more than cash out of the time we spend together.

Spent our first weekend at Mineral Wells State Park... What a great time together. I hope we can do this several times a year before the kids find it "uncool" to camp with Mom and Dad...

Alright, Sply, now that you have wheels and can travel, you have got to go to the ultimate campground, (besides Inks Lake :) the State Park at Fort Davis, in the Davis Mountains, we used to spend every thanksgiving there and the kids loved it. If its warm enough, stop for a night at Balmeray (sp?) and jump in the largest spring fed pool in the state. Take your snorkleing gear along. Great trip!

[Chief Woodman]

Originally posted by bullfrog_alumni_02
i agree, ive only been around for 20 yrs, and no comepanies or corporations, but i could care less how much money i have when im old and grey, i just wanna raise good kids and give back to my hometown what its given me.

You might start to care when your old and grey with no money. Then your childeren will be supporting you instesad of preparing for the future of their own kids. Parents should lay up money for their children, not the other way around if possible. Start planning now so you do not become a burden later in life when you can do nothing about it.

[Chief Woodman]

Originally posted by BullFrog Dad
I could post my retirement plans(over 25 years w/fortune 500 company so far) but there's something to be said for humility.

Thats too funny. In trying to take a shot at me you condemmed your own self. You gave up any true chance of humility by mentioning you have been with a fortune 500 company for over 25 years and implied you have a better retirement. By the way, I worked very hard for mine and did so that my children will not have to support me. If I spend a little of it...what does that matter to anyone else? Like dizzy dean said..."It ain't braggin' if you can do it"

[Rabbit'93]

I agree Chief!! More power to ya. I only hope that I can be smart enough so that I can take care of myself when I get old. Got any investment/savings advice?

[slpybear the bullfan]

Originally posted by olddawggreen
Alright, Sply, now that you have wheels and can travel, you have got to go to the ultimate campground, (besides Inks Lake :) the State Park at Fort Davis, in the Davis Mountains, we used to spend every thanksgiving there and the kids loved it. If its warm enough, stop for a night at Balmeray (sp?) and jump in the largest spring fed pool in the state. Take your snorkleing gear along. Great trip!

I have heard a LOT about Ft. Davis... I would really like to check that out... I just gotta worry about the drive and arrange an extra day off work.

[Old Tiger]

that sounds like something you would see in a movie or somethin

[BullFrog Dad]

Originally posted by Chief Woodman
Thats too funny. In trying to take a shot at me you condemmed your own self. You gave up any true chance of humility by mentioning you have been with a fortune 500 company for over 25 years and implied you have a better retirement. By the way, I worked very hard for mine and did so that my children will not have to support me. If I spend a little of it...what does that matter to anyone else? Like dizzy dean said..."It ain't braggin' if you can do it" CW, Didn't mean to hit a nerve. Just seems kinda' odd someone would post their financial position in such detail on a message board. Also what you do with your money is of no concern to me.(Unless that plane crashes into my house!!!) Last statement, As far as condemning myself with my earlier post might explain why my honey keeps telling me I'm falling apart! Have a FireProof Day!

[Sans Couth]

This is kinda amusing. I made this thread as a joke, and the funny part has been reading the real stuff.