Sans Couth
03-29-2004, 06:11 PM
OK,
I am leaving out the ones that I am afraid may be offensive. If you few Dems can't laugh at yourself then sue me.
YOU MIGHT BE A DEMOCRAT IF...
* You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress.
* You say shows like "Leave It to Beaver" are out of touch with America today, while you flip to your soap opera.
* You know of the stockpile of biological weapons in Iraq, but think that the US is wrong for not signing the land mines treaty.
* You want to know why we don't offer schooling in prisons (hey, isn't that what public schools are for).
* You feel that banning smoking in public indoor places limits your constitutional rights.
* You feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on your first amendment rights.
* You honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security disability benefits.
* You outwardly said "I would have voted for Elizabeth Dole" knowing darn well you wouldn't have because she is a Republican.
* You think it is ok for a President to commit perjury on his sex life, but criticize Dan Quayle for spelling potato/potatoe wrong.
My Favorite:
* You think the guy who drops out of High School and builds your jeep deserves more money than the doctor who went to college for 10 years and saves your kids life.
* You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out of high school.
* You went to Woodstock II and felt that it was a significant historical event, changing the way our country thinks.
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President," and still display it.
* You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
* You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."
I am leaving out the ones that I am afraid may be offensive. If you few Dems can't laugh at yourself then sue me.
YOU MIGHT BE A DEMOCRAT IF...
* You feel Fidelity means not cheating on your mistress.
* You say shows like "Leave It to Beaver" are out of touch with America today, while you flip to your soap opera.
* You know of the stockpile of biological weapons in Iraq, but think that the US is wrong for not signing the land mines treaty.
* You want to know why we don't offer schooling in prisons (hey, isn't that what public schools are for).
* You feel that banning smoking in public indoor places limits your constitutional rights.
* You feel that being convicted of treason is an infringement on your first amendment rights.
* You honestly feel that alcoholics deserve social security disability benefits.
* You outwardly said "I would have voted for Elizabeth Dole" knowing darn well you wouldn't have because she is a Republican.
* You think it is ok for a President to commit perjury on his sex life, but criticize Dan Quayle for spelling potato/potatoe wrong.
My Favorite:
* You think the guy who drops out of High School and builds your jeep deserves more money than the doctor who went to college for 10 years and saves your kids life.
* You've filed for unemployment within two weeks of getting out of high school.
* You went to Woodstock II and felt that it was a significant historical event, changing the way our country thinks.
* You own something that says, "Dukakis for President," and still display it.
* You've tried to argue in favor of anything based on, "Well, they're gonna do it anyway so..."
* You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
* You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
* You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
* You've ever argued that with just one more year of welfare that person will turn it around and get off drugs.
* You think Lennon was a brilliant social commentator.
* You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
* You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
* After looking at your pay stub you can still say, "America is undertaxed."