Post for things deemed 'not funny'

[jason]

if you have something to say thats not funny...please post here.....

:D :rolleyes: :D :rolleyes: :D :rolleyes:

[3afan2K3]

<small>[ October 22, 2003, 07:34 PM: Message edited by: 3afan2K3 ]</small>

[turbostud]

lol

[turbostud]

I saw that.

[3afan2K3]

i miss read what he said

[jason]

turbostud:
I saw that.i saw it too....he knows its true

[Gobbla2001]

Marion dominates Burnet in Friday night's contest...

----

I've been told this isn't funny anymore...

[jason]

well then you're making perfectly good use of my post...we should encourage more people to try it...oh, and dont laugh, because that wasn't funny... :D

[crzyjournalist03]

3afan2k3 should be a moderator of this board!!!

[Gobbla2001]

It's Burnet, Durnit...

[jason]

Q:How does a math professor get rid of his hemorrhoid?

A:Works it out with a pencil

LOL

oh wait, that is funny

:D

<small>[ October 22, 2003, 08:01 PM: Message edited by: jason ]</small>

[3afan2K3]

crzyjournalist03:
3afan2k3 should be a moderator of this board!!!i agree

[Gobbla2001]

No, jason..... no

[Ozzy]

that rash you get at Fiesta Texas in the summer when you've been swimming or riding rides and your pants rub you raw on your upper upper inner thigh. that ain't funny. eek!

[Gobbla2001]

Ozzy:
that rash you get at Fiesta Texas in the summer when you've been swimming or riding rides and your pants rub you raw on your upper upper inner thigh. that ain't funny. eek! Also the one I get on the inside of my arm when tubing down the 'Lupe during the summer...

[jason]

midget mud wrastlin...

[Ozzy]

speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.

[jason]

Ozzy:
speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.ive had the tops of my feet...but never my armpits....

[espn1]

Ozzy:
speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.Forney and Cuero getting their butts kicked by Burnet!

[Gobbla2001]

espn1:

Ozzy:
speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.Forney and Cuero getting their butts kicked by Burnet!People not knowing how to take jokes

[jason]

cuero maybe...forney will put up a fight...

[Gobbla2001]

jason:
cuero maybe...forney will put up a fight...Good job of keeping things 'not funny'...

[jason]

Gobbla2001:

jason:
cuero maybe...forney will put up a fight...Good job of keeping things 'not funny'...ok ill change it

cuero has no chance and forney will put up a fight... :D :D :D

[Gobbla2001]

jason:

Gobbla2001:

jason:
cuero maybe...forney will put up a fight...Good job of keeping things 'not funny'...ok ill change it

cuero has no chance and forney will put up a fight... :D :D :D Still not funny...

[jason]

well then this is the thread for it...isnt it nice how things always work out...

[Gobbla2001]

jason:
well then this is the thread for it...isnt it nice how things always work out...Uh....... that's... not funny either...

Keep up the good work (not meant to be funny)!!!

[jason]

i thought this was very unfunny so i put it in here

A VISITORS' GUIDE TO DALLAS, TX.. . . life in America's fifth largest city.
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS, or DAA-LIS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

2.Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dallas has its own version of traffic rules....Hold on and pray. There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

3.All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.

4.The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic a "scenic drive."

5.The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning.

6.If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's way.

7. Arapaho Road can only be pronounced by a native. The same holds true for Wycliff Avenue, Worcola Street, Sul Ross, Pokolodi and Routh Street.

8.Construction on I-30 is a way of life and form of entertainment.

9.All unexplained sights are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we're in Fort Worth!!"

10.If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably a factory defect.

11.All old ladies with blue hair in pink Cadillacs have the right of way.

12. Story Road mysteriously changes names as you cross intersections. Unless you're on Storey Rd......

13.If asking directions in Irving, you must have knowledge of Spanish.

14.Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport has four terminal buildings connected by one tram that never works.

15.A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimum of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minimum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything lessis considered downright sissy.

16.The wrought iron on windows in and around Oak Cliff isn't ornamental.

17.Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker that says,"Keep honking. I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at anyone. Concealed weapons are a jealously guarded, God-given right.

18.If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 60 mph zone...people are not waving when they go by.

19.The North Dallas Toll way is our daily version of NASCAR.

20.LBJ is called "The Death Trap" for two reasons: "death" and "trap."

21. If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

22. If it's 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Live Stock Show is going on.

23. If it's rained 6 inches in the last hour, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round.

24. Amusement parks, stadiums, arenas, race tracks, airports, etc. are conveniently located as far away from EVERYTHING as possible so as to allow for ample parking on grassy areas.

[mwisnews]

Here's a bad joke.

There was this guy that came to work and was talking to his friends and said, " Last night I blew chunks last night". His friend said, "I am sorry to hear that". Then the guy said, " You don't understand I am talking about my dog."

I heard that from a friend. It is so wron, but a guess I can put it up for not funny things to post.

[mwisnews]

Here's a bad joke.

There was this guy that came to work and was talking to his friends and said, " Last night I blew chunks last night". His friend said, "I am sorry to hear that". Then the guy said, " You don't understand I am talking about my dog."

I heard that from a friend. It is so wrong, but a guess I can put it up for not funny things to post.

[jason]

you could at least edit one of them and say something different

[mwisnews]

Hey you said that you wanted something deemed not funny. And it is not funny.

[sinton66]

Jason, check your trade offer, and no, it isn't funny either. wink

[jason]

mwisnews:
Hey you said that you wanted something deemed not funny. And it is not funny.he posted the same thing twice, i meant he could change one of them...

[jason]

ttt

[BrainDamage]

Carter-Riverside making the playoffs this year! :cool:

[jason]

BrainDamage:
Carter-Riverside making the playoffs this year! :cool: oohh...dirty...

[BrainDamage]

I know...I couldnt risist :D

[jason]

BrainDamage:
I know...I couldnt risist :D in a way it is kind of funny...just feel bad when i laugh about it...

[mustang04]

ok...if u are ever with a group of ppl and everytime u and a friend say something funny but everyone starts laughing, try this to see if they are actually getting what ur saying or just laughing cuz u are: say "there were 2 ducks in a bathtub, the one in the back said to the one in the front "hey pass me the soap" and the one in the front said "what do you think i am, a typewriter?" then start laughing, this joke makes no since but if anybody starts laughing, then u know its only because you are, its pretty hilarious to do

[22Mustang]

Ham .. where do you come up with this stuff???... Only you would post it.

[mustang04]

u know....im still trying to figure that one out wink

[PAINTBALL]

Someone who is drunk when I'm sober or someone who is sober when I'm drunk.

[crzyjournalist03]

Burnet is still ranked #1.

[jason]

crzyjournalist03:
Burnet is still ranked #1.they've gotten lucky these past few weeks

[GreatBigBurnetFan]

Since when is this place for lousy jokes or jokers. I thought is was to discuss 3A football,
not adolescent rantings!!
GreatBigBurnetFan

[jason]

well gobbla said some things that some nerd didnt think was funny so we decided to make a place to put things that arent funny....hope that clears things up for ya....

[PAINTBALL]

jason:
well gobbla said some things that some nerd didnt think was funny so we decided to make a place to put things that arent funny....hope that clears things up for ya....Just this morning my wife came out wearing a new dress and turned around and asked me if I thought the dress made her look fat. I replied no, it's your fat a## that makes you look fat. I thought it was funny, she didn't. Does that make her a nerd?

[bearcat1]

jason:

3.All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.
OMG That is so true, I can count on one hand the # of times I've driven to Dallas, but the other weekend I had to go and the directions I got included "go to belt line". Yes, I got lost.
bc

[jason]

PAINTBALL:

jason:
well gobbla said some things that some nerd didnt think was funny so we decided to make a place to put things that arent funny....hope that clears things up for ya....Just this morning my wife came out wearing a new dress and turned around and asked me if I thought the dress made her look fat. I replied no, it's your fat a## that makes you look fat. I thought it was funny, she didn't. Does that make her a nerd?yup...kind of unintelligent on your part though...

<small>[ October 22, 2003, 11:13 PM: Message edited by: jason ]</small>

[jason]

bearcat1:

jason:

3.All directions start with, "Go down to Beltline"...which has no beginning and no end.
OMG That is so true, I can count on one hand the # of times I've driven to Dallas, but the other weekend I had to go and the directions I got included "go to belt line". Yes, I got lost.
bcbeltline is actuall beltline on one side of I30 and broadway on the other side...cant remember which is which though...

[bearcat1]

Well the other day I told a joke in class, as I do from time to time. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. But then the kids told me that cows didn't have horns...so I dunno. Maybe I messed it up.
bc

[jason]

bearcat1:
Well the other day I told a joke in class, as I do from time to time. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. But then the kids told me that cows didn't have horns...so I dunno. Maybe I messed it up.
bclol...cows have horns, dont they?

[bearcat1]

jason:

bearcat1:
Well the other day I told a joke in class, as I do from time to time. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. But then the kids told me that cows didn't have horns...so I dunno. Maybe I messed it up.
bclol...cows have horns, dont they?That's what I thought too. I dunno maybe somebody with cows can answer that.
bc

[jason]

bearcat1:

jason:

bearcat1:
Well the other day I told a joke in class, as I do from time to time. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. But then the kids told me that cows didn't have horns...so I dunno. Maybe I messed it up.
bclol...cows have horns, dont they?That's what I thought too. I dunno maybe somebody with cows can answer that.
bcim sure somebody on here lives in a small town with a few farms....we should be able to get an answer pretty easily...

[bearcat1]

jason:

bearcat1:

jason:

bearcat1:
Well the other day I told a joke in class, as I do from time to time. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. But then the kids told me that cows didn't have horns...so I dunno. Maybe I messed it up.
bclol...cows have horns, dont they?That's what I thought too. I dunno maybe somebody with cows can answer that.
bcim sure somebody on here lives in a small town with a few farms....we should be able to get an answer pretty easily...Any minute now, we will be getting an entire discussion of whether cows have horns, or which types of cows have horns. I can feel it. While we are waiting I'll go ahead and share another school joke: How does an astronaut get his baby to sleep?

bc

[Jacket2000]

Yes, cows have horns. Bulls do have somethin' that "cows", or heffers as they're correctly called, dont have, but I reckon most can figure that out for themselves. And, yes, I DO have cows.
J2K

[espn1]

espn1:

Ozzy:
speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.Forney and Cuero getting their butts kicked by Burnet!Cuero and Forney players buying tickets to watch Gainsville and Burnet play.

[cunbed10]

A train wreck, and a funeral.

[booger1]

How come Gobbla is not a moderator?

[BrainDamage]

What did Tigger find in the toilet??

Pooh.

<small>[ October 23, 2003, 09:13 AM: Message edited by: BrainDamage ]</small>

[jason]

BrainDamage:
What did Tigger find in the toilet??

Pooh.lol...wait, thats not funny...

[jason]

A Redneck buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Austin to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Redneck says, "I want my $20 million." The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years." The Redneck said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explains that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The Redneck, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"

HAHA :D :D :D

[Gobbla2001]

Obviously, I'm not funny...

[jason]

me neither

[crzyjournalist03]

Ok...two guys walk into a bar. One of them is wearing a cowboy hat, and the other is wearing a baseball cap. The guy in the cowboy hat looks at the guy in the baseball cap and ...dang it...I can't remember the rest of the joke!!! :mad: :mad:

[booger1]

THAT'S NOT FUNNY!! :mad:

[jason]

lol

[jason]

this one time, at band camp.....

[crzyjournalist03]

booger1:
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!! :mad: that's why I posted it.

[crzyjournalist03]

jason:
this one time, at band camp.....lol

[crzyjournalist03]

1. Only in America...... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

5. Only in America...... do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America...... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America...... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

[Gobbla2001]

espn1:

espn1:

Ozzy:
speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.Forney and Cuero getting their butts kicked by Burnet!Cuero and Forney players buying tickets to watch Gainsville and Burnet play.You're right, that sure isn't funny...

You know comedians make people laugh mostly because what they say is true?

So if what you said isn't funny, it must not be true... HA..

Actually, there's a big shot the game you mentioned will take place...

But you guys will have to go through us round 2 eek!

[jason]

hehe

[jason]

crzyjournalist03:

jason:
this one time, at band camp.....lolits not funny :D

[crzyjournalist03]

oh...yeah.. :mad: :mad: ...that was stupid wink

[jason]

crzyjournalist03:
oh...yeah.. :mad: :mad: ...that was stupid wink :D :D :D

[jason]

jason:

crzyjournalist03:
oh...yeah.. :mad: :mad: ...that was stupid wink :D :D :D ttt

i told yall id resort to this if i have to :D

[3afan2K3]

ttt

[crzyjournalist03]

jason:

jason:

crzyjournalist03:
oh...yeah.. :mad: :mad: ...that was stupid wink :D :D ttt

i told yall id resort to this if i have to :D now that's really not funny...maybe the most not funny thing posted here yet :D

[jason]

lol...

[jason]

ttt

[crzyjournalist03]

come on, someone post something that's not funny so jason can say "lol" instead of having to keep posting "ttt"

[Gobbla2001]

What did the mushroom say to the cow...

'I'm a fungi' (say it a few times until you get it)...

[jason]

Gobbla2001:
What did the mushroom say to the cow...

'I'm a fungi' (say it a few times until you get it)...haha

[crzyjournalist03]

what really happened to the Taco Bell dog:

http://www.speeds-cartoons.com/images/images01/doggie.jpg

[jason]

Momo's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of liqour so he produced a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Observe" he told his class as he began to put one of the worms in the glass of water. This worm swam about freely and looked as happy as can be. He then put the second worm in the glass of whiskey and it to swam about for a moment but then started to shake and fell to the bottom dead. "Now" he asked "What lesson can we learn from this experiment?" "Thats easy," replied Momo. "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

[crzyjournalist03]

jason:
Momo's chemistry teacher wanted to teach his ninth grade class a lesson on the evils of liqour so he produced a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Observe" he told his class as he began to put one of the worms in the glass of water. This worm swam about freely and looked as happy as can be. He then put the second worm in the glass of whiskey and it to swam about for a moment but then started to shake and fell to the bottom dead. "Now" he asked "What lesson can we learn from this experiment?" "Thats easy," replied Momo. "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."jason...you shouldn't have posted that...that's hilarious!!!

[jason]

oops...my bad...

[crzyjournalist03]

jason:
oops...my bad...you could make it not funny by making the kid say, "Whiskey is bad for you".

[jason]

ttt

[espn1]

espn1:

espn1:

Ozzy:
speaking of tubing, how about that sunburn in the arm pits and on the tops of the feet.

definitely not funny.Forney and Cuero getting their butts kicked by Burnet!Cuero and Forney players buying tickets to watch Gainsville and Burnet play.Cuero and Forney players not having enough money to buy popcorn at the game.

<small>[ October 24, 2003, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: espn1 ]</small>

[jason]

is burnet good this year?

[Big Cheese]

I'm going to get it for these but I figured with a post like this and this being a football board I just had to.

You're such a bad musician you can't even tuna fish.

Why is it no fun to go to the park with a trombonist?

He can't swing and complains about the slide.

I have more but don't know if I can post them.

[therealbulldogs]

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, California, some folks new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 ft. Bayliner to perform. It wouldn't get on a plane at all, and it was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power was applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted in to a nearby marina, thinking someone there could tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the outdrive went up and down, the prop was the correct size and pitch. So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.



NOW REMEMBER ... THIS IS TRUE ...



Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer.

Now that is funny to me but I'm sure it wasn't funny to them! :D :D :D :D

[therealbulldogs]

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.

'I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,' she said.

'What do you mean?' he asked.

'Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'

[jason]

lol

[crzyjournalist03]

Forney giving up 34, the most they've given up all year, to a team that will end the season with only one district win (against Pinkston)!