Cam
03-25-2013, 01:21 PM
I'm talking bout them crows!...So, this mornin' I stopped at an intersection and noticed off to the side on a patch of grass a crow which appeared to be standin' on top of some other black object. After careful observation, I noticed that the "black object" was another crow! Them two things were either havin' sex in the missionary or practicing some sorta yoga moves! Seconds later I realized it was an all out knock down brawl. They were just resting for the next round! And this wasn't just a flappin'-and-jumpin'-up-and-down-oh-stop-it-you-bent-my-wing-kinda-thing like them sissy mockingbirds do! (who voted them sonsbitches for state bird anyways?) This was an all out fight to the death crow type of thing!....And neither bird was giving in! After a few more MMA style moves that would've made Georges St. Pierre proud, and a few more lost feathers and a possible claw, I started gettin' kinda concerned. This was gettin' outta control. So, I jumped outta the car and tried to spook em'..All I got was flipped off by the crow currently on the bottom. Dang, that thing gave me the "feather"!.....The top crow "squawked" me some words which I couldn't understand but just by the look in it's eye I knew it mean't, "You stay outta this you human son of a bitch!"......
I jumped back in my car. My adrenaline was pumping, my hands were shakin'. I noticed one crow was wearin' a red bandana so I thought to myself, "that crow is from south Austin and this is definitely some sort of a turf war"......I decided it was time to call 911. And here's how that useless conversation went:
911 Operator: "What is the state of your emergency?" (in a very Lily Tomlin type voice)
Cam: "Hurry up bitch!..uhh, I mean ma'am, I've got a serious crow brawl going on on the corner of Steck Ave & Anderson Mill Rd!! Send cops quick or at the very least animal control!"
911 Operator: "Calm down sir. I can hardly understand you. Did I hear you say crow brawl or is someone using a crowbar? And, did you just call me a bitch?"
Cam: "Oh no ma'am I said hurry up they're in the ditch!.....and yes, it's a crow brawl as in two birds fighting very violently. There's feathers everywhere!"
911 Operator: "Well sir, I'm afraid we don't respond to animal complaints unless it involves a threat to citizens. And besides, all our units are responding to a disturbance at Dez Bryants grandma's house. Apparently, he's punched her in the gut! You might try throwing a bucket of water on them"
Cam: "Lady, that only sometimes works for dogs....dammit you're no help!".....CLICK!
Anyways, I had to leave the scene. My blood pressure was skyrocketing. But I tell ya what, them crows are some tough cookies. And what does all this have to do with football? Well, I gots to wondering, "Does anybody use the crow in Texas high school football as a mascot?" If no one does, someone should!!
Ranger Mom, did I just give you another headache??:vrycnfsd:
I jumped back in my car. My adrenaline was pumping, my hands were shakin'. I noticed one crow was wearin' a red bandana so I thought to myself, "that crow is from south Austin and this is definitely some sort of a turf war"......I decided it was time to call 911. And here's how that useless conversation went:
911 Operator: "What is the state of your emergency?" (in a very Lily Tomlin type voice)
Cam: "Hurry up bitch!..uhh, I mean ma'am, I've got a serious crow brawl going on on the corner of Steck Ave & Anderson Mill Rd!! Send cops quick or at the very least animal control!"
911 Operator: "Calm down sir. I can hardly understand you. Did I hear you say crow brawl or is someone using a crowbar? And, did you just call me a bitch?"
Cam: "Oh no ma'am I said hurry up they're in the ditch!.....and yes, it's a crow brawl as in two birds fighting very violently. There's feathers everywhere!"
911 Operator: "Well sir, I'm afraid we don't respond to animal complaints unless it involves a threat to citizens. And besides, all our units are responding to a disturbance at Dez Bryants grandma's house. Apparently, he's punched her in the gut! You might try throwing a bucket of water on them"
Cam: "Lady, that only sometimes works for dogs....dammit you're no help!".....CLICK!
Anyways, I had to leave the scene. My blood pressure was skyrocketing. But I tell ya what, them crows are some tough cookies. And what does all this have to do with football? Well, I gots to wondering, "Does anybody use the crow in Texas high school football as a mascot?" If no one does, someone should!!
Ranger Mom, did I just give you another headache??:vrycnfsd: