Scared crapless last night

[orange machine]

I'm sitting in my recliner talking to one of the local officers who came by to visit and out of the corner of my eye I see something moving I look down and on my arm was a brown recluse spider. I screamed like a girl slapped the spider off jumped up freaked out bugged my buddy or wife to kill it. Of course they wouldn't so I had to splat went ole brown. Went to Wally world but bug and spider spray and sprayed the crap out of my house.:eek:

[44INAROW]

I hate spiders............ since we're talking about bugs - I had a customer call me the other day - asking if her homeowners policy covered damage caused from BedBugs.. of course it doesn't but it got me to thinking.. I know I've read they are a big problem on the east coast - any of you'll ever had a problem with them? Do they do damage to the furniture/house or just a nuisance? My customer wanted the insurance company to reimburse her hotel expenses but she said most of her expense at the house was exterminater based and her "stuff" was OK..

[jason]

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ENq5TM5vTB0/TOIzBdpCSLI/AAAAAAAAAIc/pNhUt29V-rY/s1600/john-goodman-gets-to-grips-with-spiders-in-the-film-arachnophobia-%25247032447%2524300.jpeg

[eagles_victory]

I hate when people call Wal Mart Wally World.

[Ernest T Bass]

Spiders are the one thing that scare me. Snakes don't bother me in the least bit(which you'd think they would, since Ive been bitten many times) and heights really aren't much of a problem. But spiders turn me into a little biatch.

[Gsquared]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
Spiders are the one thing that scare me. Snakes don't bother me in the least bit(which you'd think they would, since Ive been bitten many times) and heights really aren't much of a problem. But spiders turn me into a little biatch.
:rolleyes:

[Blastoderm55]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
Spiders are the one thing that scare me. Snakes don't bother me in the least bit(which you'd think they would, since Ive been bitten many times) and heights really aren't much of a problem. But spiders turn me into a little biatch.

Agreed. I promised my wife I'd go up into the attic to drop some runs of coax so that our internet cable line doesn't have to run outside along the house anymore.

Yeah, she's still waiting. Anything crawls on me and I'm jumping down through the ceiling!

[Cam]

Originally posted by orange machine
I'm sitting in my recliner talking to one of the local officers who came by to visit and out of the corner of my eye I see something moving I look down and on my arm was a brown recluse spider. I screamed like a girl slapped the spider off jumped up freaked out bugged my buddy or wife to kill it. Of course they wouldn't so I had to splat went ole brown. Went to Wally world but bug and spider spray and sprayed the crap out of my house.:eek:

Yeah, brownies are crawlin' round my house too....you'll never completely get rid of em'....but I hate scorpions even worse. Got stung by one that was in my underwear (how it settled there I'll never know). But as I was puttin' it on, son bitch stung me right on the peepee and hurt like hell. Made my tongue tingle as well. Dr. said that was a side effect of a scorpion bite...Now, poor ol' Yukon Cornelius not only bends to the left, it goes to the right just a tad as well......For relief, I lied and told my wife the doctor ordered gentle massage around the sting area with aloe vera cream so the swellin' would subside but somehow it had the opposite effect....I am the Scorpion King!! :D

[Old Tiger]

It is safe to assume you shat yourself?

[coach]

Im only terrified of Wasps/Yellow Jackets, but i have a right to be.

Snakes scare me but i would have no problem chopping ones head off.

[Blastoderm55]

Originally posted by Cam
Yeah, brownies are crawlin' round my house too....you'll never completely get rid of em'....but I hate scorpions even worse. Got stung by one that was in my underwear (how it settled there I'll never know). But as I was puttin' it on, son bitch stung me right on the peepee and hurt like hell. Made my tongue tingle as well. Dr. said that was a side effect of a scorpion bite...Now, poor ol' Yukon Cornelius not only bends to the left, it goes to the right just a tad as well......For relief, I lied and told my wife the doctor ordered gentle massage around the sting area with aloe vera cream so the swellin' would subside but somehow it had the opposite effect....I am the Scorpion King!! :D

I was shaving one morning and looked at the drain and noticed a scorpion crawling up out of it. I figured I'd drown it and that would be that. Wrong. That sucker was too legit to quit. I ended up dismembering him limb by limb with my can of shave cream. Pest control wants to charge something like $250 to spray for them. I'll just keep smashing them, thanks.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by orange machine
I'm sitting in my recliner talking to one of the local officers who came by to visit and out of the corner of my eye I see something moving I look down and on my arm was a brown recluse spider. I screamed like a girl slapped the spider off jumped up freaked out bugged my buddy or wife to kill it. Of course they wouldn't so I had to splat went ole brown. Went to Wally world but bug and spider spray and sprayed the crap out of my house.:eek:

Brown recluses and Black widows are prominent here in Texas. Getting bit by either one is serious business. But!
Now...
your gonna love this.

Beginning three weeks ago:
I was picking corn in our 2.5 acre corn field at dusk. We pick the corn for our elderly customers who request us to deliver them some. Carrying a big cotton sack, to pull the corn, is right behind me. Keep in mind, it is becoming pretty dark. I picked that corn in shorts, cuz it IS HOT. Well, you know what is in between many rows of corn. Spider webs. lol I must have ran through at least a dozen spider webs on two separate days, and sometimes...sometimes you can tell a spider was on your leg skittering around. What do you do when you are dragging a bag about 100 pounds and you need to finish a row ASAP? Well, you trudge on and slap those suckers off!
You have to keep customers happy nowadays, you know?:nerd:

BTW, I was 8 years old when my dad had us pick 10 acres of broom corn. Danged spiders back then were bigger than my hand.:doh:

Worse spider bite I ever had?
Friggen' hairy black/white jumping house spider that was inside my shirt I pulled from a clothes line. That thing stung worse than bee or wasp!:eek:

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by Cam
Yeah, brownies are crawlin' round my house too....you'll never completely get rid of em'....but I hate scorpions even worse. Got stung by one that was in my underwear (how it settled there I'll never know). But as I was puttin' it on, son bitch stung me right on the peepee and hurt like hell. Made my tongue tingle as well. Dr. said that was a side effect of a scorpion bite...Now, poor ol' Yukon Cornelius not only bends to the left, it goes to the right just a tad as well......For relief, I lied and told my wife the doctor ordered gentle massage around the sting area with aloe vera cream so the swellin' would subside but somehow it had the opposite effect....I am the Scorpion King!! :D

ROTFL!!!:clap:

[Ernest T Bass]

Originally posted by SintonFan
Brown recluses and Black widows are prominent here in Texas. Getting bit by either one is serious business. But!
Now...
your gonna love this.

Beginning three weeks ago:
I was picking corn in our 2.5 acre corn field at dusk. We pick the corn for our elderly customers who request us to deliver them some. Carrying a big cotton sack, to pull the corn, is right behind me. Keep in mind, it is becoming pretty dark. I picked that corn in shorts, cuz it IS HOT. Well, you know what is in between many rows of corn. Spider webs. lol I must have ran through at least a dozen spider webs on two separate days, and sometimes...sometimes you can tell a spider was on your leg skittering around. What do you do when you are dragging a bag about 100 pounds and you need to finish a row ASAP? Well, you trudge on and slap those suckers off!
You have to keep customers happy nowadays, you know?:nerd:

BTW, I was 8 years old when my dad had us pick 10 acres of broom corn. Danged spiders back then were bigger than my hand.:doh:

Worse spider bite I ever had?
Friggen' hairy black/white jumping house spider that was inside my shirt I pulled from a clothes line. That thing stung worse than bee or wasp!:eek:

When I was 15, I was bitten by a tarantula once down in South Texas. Sumbitch drew blood! I screamed like G2 in a prison yard(except without the smile). I was convinced I was gonna die, b/c in movies people always die from tarantula bites. Took a few hours for anyone to tell me that they're not poisonous.

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
When I was 15, I was bitten by a tarantula once down in South Texas. Sumbitch drew blood! I screamed like G2 in a prison yard(except without the smile). I was convinced I was gonna die, b/c in movies people always die from tarantula bites. Took a few hours for anyone to tell me that they're not poisonous.

lol
Tarantulas have big fangs. They would be intimidating for sure.
Scorpions also draw blood when they sting.;)

[trojandad]

ok, how is this WHOLE thread NOT about someone getting stung on his peepee? i woulda thought we'd have more jokes off that incident than the weiner thread?

or is everybody just afraid of where asking questions would go? maybe THATS it......:clap:

[Ernest T Bass]

Originally posted by SintonFan
lol
Tarantulas have big fangs. They would be intimidating for sure.
Scorpions also draw blood when they sting.;)

They do? Ive been stung a few times, never have bled.

[orange machine]

I have never in my life seen more spiders in a house like the spiders in mine. No lie my wife, children and I have all woke up with itching (wepps spelling) on us. I bet those are spider bites and not misquitoes.

[GrTigers6]

Originally posted by orange machine
I have never in my life seen more spiders in a house like the spiders in mine. No lie my wife, children and I have all woke up with itching (wepps spelling) on us. I bet those are spider bites and not misquitoes. Do you have night lights outside, That is the easiest way to attract spiders, they come to where the night insects gather.

[Blastoderm55]

Crazy story about snakes.
http://www.caller.com/news/2011/jun/15/house-infested-hundreds-snakes-ex-residents-say-ba/

I liked how it took the owner 42 snakes before deciding he couldn't live their anymore. 42 INSIDE the house. It would take me one.

[BEAST]

Originally posted by Cam
Yeah, brownies are crawlin' round my house too....you'll never completely get rid of em'....but I hate scorpions even worse. Got stung by one that was in my underwear (how it settled there I'll never know). But as I was puttin' it on, son bitch stung me right on the peepee and hurt like hell. Made my tongue tingle as well. Dr. said that was a side effect of a scorpion bite...Now, poor ol' Yukon Cornelius not only bends to the left, it goes to the right just a tad as well......For relief, I lied and told my wife the doctor ordered gentle massage around the sting area with aloe vera cream so the swellin' would subside but somehow it had the opposite effect....I am the Scorpion King!! :D


Hands down funniest post I have ever read. Greatness!!




BEAST

[SintonFan]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
They do? Ive been stung a few times, never have bled.

Ok, they have the potential to draw blood.:p

[garciap77]

Originally posted by orange machine
I'm sitting in my recliner talking to one of the local officers who came by to visit and out of the corner of my eye I see something moving I look down and on my arm was a brown recluse spider. I screamed like a girl slapped the spider off jumped up freaked out bugged my buddy or wife to kill it. Of course they wouldn't so I had to splat went ole brown. Went to Wally world but bug and spider spray and sprayed the crap out of my house.:eek:

http://i220.photobucket.com/albums/dd185/garciap77/Smilies/Brown_Recluse_7.jpg