Things I learned from one night of coaching girls' soccer

[Ernest T Bass]

1. Girls have to pee a lot
2. Girls talk/laugh/scream/giggle.......a lot
3. When girls get competitive, they cuss.....a lot
4. Evidently, there are no time outs in soccer
5. There is a little box that, as the coach, you have to stay inside
6. Soccer coaches aren't nearly as intense as football coaches
7. No matter what the game is, Im still a football coach
8. Even if it's a game that Ive never even watched, we still find a way to win, 3-0!
Boom!! Get on my level!!

[BaseballUmp]

Haha gotta love it

[bigwood33]

And since you resisted the urge to off yourself halfway through the game.....THAT is a successful debut!

[ccmom]

Haha...Congrats! :clap:

[Ernest T Bass]

I tried real hard to be a "girls' soccer coach" and keep everything calm and encouraging. But damnit, that's just not me. I was fullblown football coach by about 15 minutes in. Ref had to keep reminding me about my little coach's box that I had to stay in.

[bobcat1]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
I tried real hard to be a "girls' soccer coach" and keep everything calm and encouraging. But damnit, that's just not me. I was fullblown football coach by about 15 minutes in. Ref had to keep reminding me about my little coach's box that I had to stay in. You will transform Grass Fairy coaching worldwide. It's in your blood! You are now annointed by Garcia as King of the Grass Fairy Coaches of America!

[piratebg]

Coaching soccer is fun. It'll grow on you. I've done if 4yrs now and I love it.

[Additup]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
1. Girls have to pee a lot
2. Girls talk/laugh/scream/giggle.......a lot
3. When girls get competitive, they cuss.....a lot
4. Evidently, there are no time outs in soccer
5. There is a little box that, as the coach, you have to stay inside
6. Soccer coaches aren't nearly as intense as football coaches
7. No matter what the game is, Im still a football coach
8. Even if it's a game that Ive never even watched, we still find a way to win, 3-0!
Boom!! Get on my level!!
#9 Girls ask "Why?" almost as much as they have to pee/talk/laugh/scream/giggle/cuss. If you haven't noticed it yet, you will now.
Football players basically are conditioned not to question things verbally. I had more "whys?" in my first girls' practice than I've had in coaching 16 years of football.

[Matthew328]

genius thread

[piratebg]

And don't forget that the bench is reserved for rest, water, and girl talk. I coach coed rec teams so I constantly have hear about which opposing boy players are hot or ugly.

[Matthew328]

Serious question but why do girls have to pee all the time?

[Ernest T Bass]

Originally posted by Matthew328
Serious question but why do girls have to pee all the time?

That's a good question. I'll see what I can find out. I kinda feel like Jane Goodall here.

[LH_Tuff]

As some of you know, My oldest son is a very good soccer player. Funny thing - The club he plays for has the boys teams scrimmage older girls teams to make them tougher. Those girls soccer teams are brutal. :D

[spaniard]

Originally posted by LH_Tuff
As some of you know, My oldest son is a very good soccer player. Funny thing - The club he plays for has the boys teams scrimmage older girls teams to make them tougher. Those girls soccer teams are brutal. :D

that's why my boys will have some warning if they want to marry a soccer chick, hehe

[hollywood]

Originally posted by Ernest T Bass
1. Girls have to pee a lot
2. Girls talk/laugh/scream/giggle.......a lot
3. When girls get competitive, they cuss.....a lot
4. Evidently, there are no time outs in soccer
5. There is a little box that, as the coach, you have to stay inside
6. Soccer coaches aren't nearly as intense as football coaches
7. No matter what the game is, Im still a football coach
8. Even if it's a game that Ive never even watched, we still find a way to win, 3-0!
Boom!! Get on my level!!

That's awesome! I coach my daughters youth team and had to learn to knock it down a few notches.

Go watch TCU's womens team next Fall... Their coach is very intense! He's as amusing to watch as the game.

[crzyjournalist03]

Originally posted by spaniard
that's why my boys will have some warning if they want to marry a soccer chick, hehe

word of advice/warning for anybody who considers dating/marrying a female soccer player:

Their hobby is kicking balls.

[Txbroadcaster]

Originally posted by LH_Tuff
Those girls soccer teams are brutal. :D


IMO Girls sports in general are brutal..watching my daughter play basketball/soccer where there is contact and that contact gets rough

[lulu]

Girls have attitude.....they use it when necessary. lol

Keep it up Ernest T. Stay in the box.

[bigwood33]

Originally posted by lulu

Keep it up Ernest T. Stay in the box.
I'm sure he will try!:D :rolleyes: ;)

[PPHSfan]

Originally posted by piratebg
Coaching soccer is fun. It'll grow on you. I've done if 4yrs now and I love it.

Whenever I look at your avatar and then think about you coaching girls soccer, I feel like I should call the police or something.

[piratebg]

Originally posted by PPHSfan
Whenever I look at your avatar and then think about you coaching girls soccer, I feel like I should call the police or something.

Funny thing is I work for the police LOL :D :devil: :D

[FB-fanatic]

If a person ever catches themselves in the position of coaching and not knowing a thing about soccer, you are always safe to yell "She was offsides!" every 5 to 10 minutes. It is the most misunderstood rule in soccer and safe to say you will sound like you are soccer savvy!

[Ernest T Bass]

Originally posted by FB-fanatic
If a person ever catches themselves in the position of coaching and not knowing a thing about soccer, you are always safe to yell "She was offsides!" every 5 to 10 minutes. It is the most misunderstood rule in soccer and safe to say you will sound like you are soccer savvy!

Sweet! Thanks!

[ccmom]

Originally posted by FB-fanatic
If a person ever catches themselves in the position of coaching and not knowing a thing about soccer, you are always safe to yell "She was offsides!" every 5 to 10 minutes. It is the most misunderstood rule in soccer and safe to say you will sound like you are soccer savvy! That's hilarious but great advice! :clap: