How to spend your next stimulus check

[STANG RED]

By the way, ball games are mentioned in this thread, so it IS sports related. :D

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.



Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.



Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .



* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.



* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .




* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..




* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .




* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.




Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on hookers, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:


Go to a ball game with a tattooed hooker that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !



No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

[Lucky2Coach]

That is good stuff!

[DDBooger]

Originally posted by STANG RED
By the way, ball games are mentioned in this thread, so it IS sports related. :D

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.



Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.



Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .



* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.



* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .




* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..




* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .




* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.




Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on hookers, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:


Go to a ball game with a tattooed hooker that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !



No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
LMAO here here :clap:

[jason]

strip clubs

[Trashman]

Red, you are a genius!:D

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by Trashman
Red, you are a genius!:D

Thanks, but I must confess I'm not the author. It was sent to me in an email. Wish I knew who originally came up with it though, so I could give them the credit.

[CenTexSports]

This is all BS. We should all go to Disneyland.

[MUSTANG69]

Originally posted by CenTexSports
This is all BS. We should all go to Disneyland.

This is funny but probably more accurate than we care to think.

[teetle]

Thats sounds likes a funs thing to does. But Ms. Teetle donts likes it whens I messes with Hookers.:D :eek: :eek: :D

[nobogey72]

I think I'll take about 75% of mine and do the stripper, hooker, cheap wine deal....... and the other 25% I'll just blow.:)

[bwdlionfan]

Are we really getting another one?

['Necks 2013-14]

Originally posted by STANG RED
By the way, ball games are mentioned in this thread, so it IS sports related. :D

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.



Q.. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.



Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.



Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.



Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.



Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:




* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka .



* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.



* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .




* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..




* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .




* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .




* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go
to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.




Instead, keep the money in America by:

1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on hookers, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )


Conclusion:


Go to a ball game with a tattooed hooker that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !



No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. :clap: :clap: :clap: That is REALLY good stuff 'Stang!!

[BaseballUmp]

Haha brilliant

[theville]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!:D

[AP Panther Fan]

I love yard sales, games and beer. I am going to take this as a sign that I need to be spending more time and money on these things.:cool:

[warpig]

I think I will use a portion of that money and send a box of Kleenex to pelosi because she is now unemployed an she might need it to dry up.:crying:

[STANG RED]

Originally posted by bwdlionfan
Are we really getting another one?

I'm not real sure. But if you do, at least you now know how to spend it. ;)

Enjoy!:D

[defense51]

Excellent financial recovery plan!!! I'm going to submit this to my bankruptcy attorney tomorrow.