Should I be upset?

[ssgmp5150]

My employer has set up a college scholarship fund for dependent children of all employees. 17 kids applied for this "first" time scholarship. The goal of the committee was to ensure everyone got something to help offset the costs of college. I was told by my boss that my child had scored number one on the candidate list and that they intended to give him 1500.00 toward college. They were going to give the remaining 16 kids 500.00 each. I just found out today from my boss that they made a mistake. After looking at the money, they realized that they did not have as much as they originally thought and decided to simply award each child 500.00 each.

My question is this...I am not upset that they had to reduce the amount of money my child received, but that all kids received money. If they were to apply for an outside scholarship, they may be competing with hundreds if not thousands of other kids for one or maybe two scholarships. Is it fair that my child put in the hard work to make good grades, volunteer for extracurricular acitivities, community volunteerism, etc...All of which made his application the strongest. I know some of the employee's children personally, and some of these kids barely graduated and their GPA's were terrible, etc...Is it fair to award all kids an equal amount? I think they should have awarded a set amount for the top 2-3 kids and then a reduced amount for the remainder of the kids. What are we teaching our kids???? That all are deserving eventhough others have put in more work and have higher standards, etc? This is not how it is in the real world...We are not preparing our kids for the real world in my opinion. We are simply reinforcing the notion that everybody is a winner and we don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. It is a feel good world.

However, in the same breath, I am very grateful, as this is $500.00 more than what I had before to apply toward my child's education expenses, but the previous $1500.00 that they promised would have been very nice! I understand that the originator of this scholarship wanted to make sure each child received money, but at the expense of sacrificing standards?

I just don't agree that each kid should have received the same amount regardless of his or her qualifications. I believe the children that have achieved higher standards should have received more money, etc...Am I wrong for thinking this way? I would like to hear your input on this...

[LE Dad]

Welcome to privatized entitlements.:doh: I mean it is their money and they can distribute how they see fit. I would be upset if it was employee matched contributions or such. I would not want my portion to go to some deadbeat kid.
I guess be glad, $500 beats nothing but your boss should have kept his mouth shut till all arrangements were finalized and then there would be no risk of hurt feelings.:thinking:

[ssgmp5150]

Yeah, he prematurely told me he had won $1500.00. He was proud that an employee's kid from his department was the top winner. Needless to say, at the last minute they had to pull me to the side and apologize as they board had decided to award everyone $500.00 each. The money part didn't bother me, but some of the deadbeat kids getting the same amount as others who were much more qualified was what was upsetting to me. However, can I get mad about that as it is a private citizen's money that is being donated and he can donate it as he see's fit???

[AP Panther Fan]

First, congratulations on the scholarship and your child's achievements.

You mentioned that the goal of the committee was to see that every applicant got something to help offset the cost of college. So I think they accomplished their goal and yes, it is fair if that is how "they chose" to award the funds available. Even children with lower GPA's want to go to college and deserve to take advantage of every opportunity available to them.

I appreciate the efforts of those that receive "top honors" but sometimes think that other kids get shafted when the majority of the local scholarships go to the top ten primarily.

JMHO and again, congratulations. We have Senior Awards night tonight.

[playnhurt]

My child qualified for and applied for the THSCA scholarship a few years ago. She got a letter telling her thanks for applying but they were sorry she wasn't chosen to receive one of them. I wasn't upset that she didn't receive it, their were 75 kids to chose from. I was upset, however, for the fact that the THSCA President's child and a member of the THSCA board of directors child did receive scholarships. Maybe their children did deserve them but it sure smells fishy to me.

The THSCA does have a code of ethics that we as coaches should follow but in my book this was as unethical as H3LL!

[ssgmp5150]

Thanks for the congratulations. I agree that it is their money and they can spend it as they see fit. However, I don't agree with all applicants receiving the same amount of money. I guess that is my question. Reward each kid with the same amount, yet each kid put in different levels of work and achieved different results, some of which were higher than others....I just think this is merely "watering down" the system and less than deserving kids are walking out with just as much money as the kids that worked their butts off.


Originally posted by AP Panther Fan
First, congratulations on the scholarship and your child's achievements.

You mentioned that the goal of the committee was to see that every applicant got something to help offset the cost of college. So I think they accomplished their goal and yes, it is fair if that is how "they chose" to award the funds available. Even children with lower GPA's want to go to college and deserve to take advantage of every opportunity available to them.

I appreciate the efforts of those that receive "top honors" but sometimes think that other kids get shafted when the majority of the local scholarships go to the top ten primarily.

JMHO and again, congratulations. We have Senior Awards night tonight.

[LE Dad]

Originally posted by playnhurt
My child qualified for and applied for the THSCA scholarship a few years ago. She got a letter telling her thanks for applying but they were sorry she wasn't chosen to receive one of them. I wasn't upset that she didn't receive it, their were 75 kids to chose from. I was upset, however, for the fact that the THSCA President's child and a member of the THSCA board of directors child did receive scholarships. Maybe their children did deserve them but it sure smells fishy to me.

The THSCA does have a code of ethics that we as coaches should follow but in my book this was as unethical as H3LL! Wow! Can you say conflict of interest. :dispntd:

[maroogreen]

If they announced that it was a competitive scholarship based on the applicant's accomplishments, then I could understand being upset. But if it basically is a scholarship your child receives by virtue of the fact that you work for a particular company, then you say "thank you" and be happy someone gave your child $500 towards a college education. I can understand being disappointed it wasn't a larger amount, but you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[ssgmp5150]

I see your point there maroogreen. The key word being "competitive." You are right, just be happy that my child got any money at all. After all, it is $500.00 more than I had before!


Originally posted by maroogreen
If they announced that it was a competitive scholarship based on the applicant's accomplishments, then I could understand being upset. But if it basically is a scholarship your child receives by virtue of the fact that you work for a particular company, then you say "thank you" and be happy someone gave your child $500 towards a college education. I can understand being disappointed it wasn't a larger amount, but you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Ranger Mom]

Originally posted by ssgmp5150
I see your point there maroogreen. The key word being "competitive." You are right, just be happy that my child got any money at all. After all, it is $500.00 more than I had before!

I must admit, I read your initial post and was was set to be upset right alongside you. Then I read maroogreen's post and it put it all in perspective for me too!!!

[3afan]

be grateful ... and be quiet ;)

[TheDOCTORdre]

Originally posted by 3afan
be grateful ... and be quiet ;)

that sounds like what I told my wife on our wedding day

[garciap77]

Originally posted by TheDOCTORdre
that sounds like what I told my wife on our wedding day

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[Old Dog]

Sorry some may disagree with me on this. The boss screwed up making an early comment to you about the $1500. He needs to be a man: step up to the plate and take care of the difference himself. He should be the one that learns a lesson, not make the kid learn one.

Most likely the boss will not make it right and you must move on.
You did nothing wrong, so don't be upset. At least your kid got the $500. As one poster put it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[LH Panther Mom]

I would be more upset at the boss giving out information before the official announcement than the company in helping out all with the same amount. I'm willing to bet he doesn't do that again!

[ssgmp5150]

The boss was very embarrassed about the situation. He apologized profusely to me. I was not counting on the money until it was actually in my hands anyway. So, I am not upset about that at all. $1500 would have been nice, but $500 is more than I had to begin with. I was more upset with the fact that they just gave all the applicants a blanket award of 500.00 each regardless of their qualifications, but after looking at the term "competitive" it kind of put it in perspective for me. This was not a "competitive" scholarship application. It was merely a nice gentleman that wanted to give back and ensure everyone got money, so they decided to give everyone the same amount. So, I am grateful I got anything at all. I knew some of the wise 3adl posters would put it in perspective for me!

[ssgmp5150]

The boss actually looked into doing something like that to try and make up the difference and give my child the original $1500.00, but they just simply did not have the money. So I know he was genuine and sincerely apologetic. I told him it was not that big of a deal. He wanted to know if we had already counted on that $1500.00 towards my child's education expenses this semester and if so, I think he would have forked it out of his own wallet if that were the case. I told him we had not counted any of that money yet towards my child's costs and he was relieved about that and I told him it was no big deal. I would not rule out yet that he might still try and find the money himself, but I told him I would not be expecting it and that it was not necessary, that I was simply appreciative of any money my child got at all. He is really a good boss, so I am not upset about that at all.


Originally posted by Old Dog
Sorry some may disagree with me on this. The boss screwed up making an early comment to you about the $1500. He needs to be a man: step up to the plate and take care of the difference himself. He should be the one that learns a lesson, not make the kid learn one.

Most likely the boss will not make it right and you must move on.
You did nothing wrong, so don't be upset. At least your kid got the $500. As one poster put it, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.