Funny coach quotes

[Blue42]

You know like. Are you going to tackle him or love him to death.

[nobogey72]

"Get your no-playin' ass off the field you stupid little bastard!!!"

Always been one of my favorites.

[Torb]

"Once that sh** Wagon starts downhill, it's hard to stop!"

[Blue42]

There kicking our a-- all over the field and your our lead shoe shiner

[pancho villa]

Why don't you hit him with your purse next time?

[BwdLion73]

Ya'll are playing like a bunch of High School kids!

[BILLYFRED0000]

What are you boys doin??? Dancin??? Your sister hits harder and you have the black eye to prove it.

[sotex]

You guys are standing around with one thumb in your mouth and the other in your a-- and you switch every five minutes.

[Blue42]

We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. I just can't figure out where else to play!

[sinton66]

"We couldn't tackle that guy if we were in a phone booth with him".

[Blue42]

Your running like you have cr-- in your pants shake it out and go hit somebody.

[wimbo_pro]

We haven't won a game since I took the advice of that Rocket idiot!!!

[TheDOCTORdre]

Son, do i need to get you a tampon? You're playng like a girl out there.

[Trashman]

Son, You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
:D

[Sweetwater Red]

Originally posted by pancho villa
Why don't you hit him with your purse next time?


:clap: :D :clap:

[Gobbla2001]

"Boy you got a lot of smarts, but they're all in your ass"

[wimbo_pro]

Hey ref!!! I've seen better eyes on a potatoe!

[ivchris]

the best quote ever came by the late John McKay when he was the coach of the expansion team, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. he was asked after losing a game:

"Coach McKay, what do you think of your teams execution?"

he said, "I'm all for it."

More:
John McKay Quotes
Under the pressure of a long losing streak, Coach McKay became known for issuing notable, often hilarious, statements. Among them:

When asked about his offense's execution: "I'm in favor of it".
On hearing about kicker Pete Rajecki's nervousness at playing in front of McKay: "That's unfortunate, as I plan on attending all the games".
At a postgame press conference: "You guys don't know the difference between a football and a bunch of bananas."
At the following week's press conference, after a member of the media left a case of bananas at his door: "You guys don't know the difference between a football and a Mercedes-Benz."[9]
On John Brodie's comment that Steve Spurrier throws one of three passes into the ground: "That's OK, we'll just get shorter receivers."[10]
"We've determined that we can't win at home and we can't win on the road. What we need is a neutral site."
"We didn't block real good, but we made up for it by not tackling."[11]
When asked how he compared coaching in Tampa to coaching at USC: "It's a three-hour time difference."[12]
"I thought all along that we would win 14 games. Right after the opening kickoff I said, 'Well, I'll be damned'".
"I've been telling the players, 'Let's have a good time.' (Pause) They took me literally".
"Mr. Culverhouse has been a great owner. He hasn't come to the dressing room yet to give me any suggestions. Well, I need some advice. I called the Baltimore owner, but he was busy".[13]
To players planning on staying in Tampa over the offseason: "Stop by my office tomorrow and pick up some fake noses and mustaches so no one recognizes your sorry asses".[14]
"We'll be back. Maybe not in this century, but we'll be back."[2]
Additionally, assistant coach Dennis Fryzel, when the team was penalized for having 12 players on the field, asked a referee, "Which one was it?"[15] And injured guard Ira Gordon reportedly told McKay, "Coach, I got the x-ray, but I don't feel any better".[16]

[bobcat4life]

Stop dancin like a p---- and run hit the hole hard.

[gatordaze]

When asked why they built the new pressbox and moved home side to what had previously been the visitor side, Princeton's coach said...

"There has been alot of winning going on over there, we thought we would try it"

[TheDOCTORdre]

My sophomore year we were at practice and one of our teammates dropped a four letter word after being knocked around in a play. As we return to the huddle one of our coaches responds in this manner,
"Excuse me, young man what did you just say?"
"Nothing sir"
"Don't bull**** me, so I heard what you said and I want you to know we don't use that f***ing language on our team, now I want you to go run your @$$ off till I say stop"

[mac77]

Is your purse heavy or does your p#**y hurt?

[coach]

after getting beat by 15 runs in a baseball game our coach said..."Guys, yall should have just applied the Vaseline for them to make it easier on you guys because they just ra**d your ass."

[Lake Pirate]

"You're playing worse and worse every day and right now you're playing like it's next month."
..Herb Brooks

[lvbears32]

You're playin with dead lice fallin out of your @ss

[IHStangFan]

"How embarrassing, I bet you feel about as awkward as a three legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond!!"

[Footballhudini]

I've never done so much laughing on a 3aDL thread. I say this thread be put in the 3aDL HOF

[trojandad]

Originally posted by sinton66
"We couldn't tackle that guy if we were in a phone booth with him".


many people on here aren't old enough to remember "phone booths".....lol


my favorite was my assistant coach with the clipboard telling me when i'm coming off the field "don't worry, i'm not keeping your stats, i'm counting monday's "up downs".......

[BaseballUmp]

my baseball coach senior year to our second baseman:
Coach: So can you get me the hookup?
2nd baseman: What are you talking about coach?
Coach: To Cavendars, you have been boot city all day so I figured you could get me a discount.

[IHStangFan]

Originally posted by trojandad
many people on here aren't old enough to remember "phone booths".....lol


my favorite was my assistant coach with the clipboard telling me when i'm coming off the field "don't worry, i'm not keeping your stats, i'm counting monday's "up downs"....... LOL...touche!!

[Blue42]

You boys jobs are to see to it I dont lose mine.

[pancho villa]

One coach to another.

"Hey coach will you go to my classroom and get my modification folders, so I can get these tards to understand some football!"

[rojosgirl]

These are great! Some real classics. :D

[BwdLion73]

I had a coach that called me "water faucet" he said I know your running but your not going anywhere!

[BILLYFRED0000]

This was before same sex advocacy folks.


That was so weak...... Does your boyfriend play football? I need a player.

[jockcity33]

Son you have got to be the first case in history where the baby died and the afterbirth lived.

[pancho villa]

Coach what position I'm I going to play this year?
"A$$ back! everytime you run out on the field I will yell "get your A$$ back on the bench!"

[ASURugger]

After a big loss in a jr. high basketball game.

Winning Coach - "Sorry Coach"

Losing Coach - "That alright Coach the outcome of this game was decided at birth."

[Blue42]

Son your not doing nothing but breathing up good air.

[Super_R]

Coach to player... "son I don't think this is your sport"

[Daddy D 11]

Originally posted by Super_R
Coach to player... "son I don't think this is your sport"

My favorite coaching qoute...

(In a higher, yelling voice).... "COME ON DAN!"

[Blue42]

Move son the buzzards are starting to circle.

[PPSTATEBOUND]

Guys? hey now!!!!! if you want to fight!!! why dont yall crawl up my A$$ and fight for air......


Lineman coach..Nocona 1985:

[95mustang]

Ya'll have got to be the best players the other team has ever had.


I heard that quote at a little league tournament a few years back.

[firstdown]

We were getting beat one game in HS and I got drilled on the side line. I'm laying there holding my knee and coach comes over looks at me as says " Get up and get back in the game it's three feet from your heart you'll be fine"

I did as I was told

[yoe64]

Ya aint hurt! Get up ya pud

[BEAST]

Pin your ears back and go hit somebody.

Somebody please try to pin your ears back. What the hell does that mean?




BEAST

[onsideanytime]

deleted...
sorry - while it might be funny (or true) it's not board appropriate..

[baseballmom]

after getting juked, my husbands coach said your A*@ is so tight that i could not drive a pin in A%*@ with a sledge hammer

[baseballcoach13]

Baseball coach to a right handed pitcher who just got his tits ripped.

"Son are you sure that you are right handed? I think you may have been throwing with the wrong arm your whole life."

[pancho villa]

Originally posted by baseballcoach13
Baseball coach to a right handed pitcher who just got his tits ripped.

"Son are you sure that you are right handed? I think you may have been throwing with the wrong arm your whole life."

We don't need any standaround quotes on here.

[CHS_89]

"That makes my old butt want a dip of snuff"

[4x100jackets]

"You guys are more nervous than a long tailed Dog in a room full of rocking chairs."

[Super_R]

Originally posted by pancho villa
We don't need any standaround quotes on here.

Ouch!

[Super_R]

Originally posted by Super_R
Coach to player... "son I don't think this is your sport"


Later that day..." son I don't think sports is your sport"

[Blue42]

Half time girls go change you maxie pads

[gibby]

"Son I want you to hit him so hard that I hear your ass cheeks slap together. If I don't hear you ass cheeks slap together, you didn't hit him"

[Blue42]

Son your a handfull and nobody likes a handfull.

[GetRDoneStangs]

'You might want to check his hip pocket, you he is a boy scout don't you?"





Coach Jackson talking to the ref after a Sweetwater kid was flagged for not wearing his mouth piece.......he had 2....one in and one on his face mask..

They picked up the flag!!

[All out CAT]

After losing a game we all felt (spoke of) that we had in the bag.


Coach: "Looks like ya'll let your Alligator mouth overload your crawfish ass, huh?"

[nobogey72]

"Those of you that need showers, take them, and let's hurry up and get outta here before they score again."

[Mojado]

Originally posted by nobogey72
"Those of you that need showers, take them, and let's hurry up and get outta here before they score again."

:clap: :clap: :clap:

[lion75]

"Football is a fun game. So put a smile on your face, put murder in your heart, and let's go kick these f...ers in the mouth!"

[Blue42]

Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor hell no and its not over now.


Or 6 points good job boys 50 more and were back in this game.

[bobcat4life]

Son, do you need another maxie pad?

[coach]

son, if gnat had your brain it would fly sideways

[TxAthlete]

shebollimckaysikinimishimipetpojida!

pronounciation (ish)
shebolly mckay sicky nimmi shimmi pet po jid ah

but all real fast like
and yes, coach really said it

[NateDawg39]

Did you notice the 6 foot 230 pound running back running towards you?

Yes sir

Yeah, I thought so, we will go over your ability to play football all next week. We might find out your better at.......TAP DANCE AND EATING LOLLIPOPS WITH THOSE COTTON PICKING TUBA PLAYERS!!!!




Its hard to forget that one lol :D

[onsideanytime]

how could the single sperm that created that kid beat all the other millions of sperm to the egg

[bobcat4life]

Originally posted by onsideanytime
how could the single sperm that created that kid beat all the other millions of sperm to the egg :doh: :clap:

[rangerjoe33]

My momma can run faster than you and she ain't got no legs...

[bigwood33]

Originally posted by lion75
"Football is a fun game. So put a smile on your face, put murder in your heart, and let's go kick these f...ers in the mouth!"
GREATNESS!

[Sville]

Coach Art Briles in his first meeting with Stephenville football teams.
"The lean and mean days are over boys, it is time to get c0cky and stocky." Circa 1988

Some others I heard through the years,

"Hit the hole twinkle toes"

"Son I can't coach DNA"

I have several more that are not board appropriate.

[bobcat4life]

Originally posted by lion75
"Football is a fun game. So put a smile on your face, put murder in your heart, and let's go kick these f...ers in the mouth!" that sounds like something RM would say if she was a cheerleader:D